Well, I certainly had a bee in my bonnet today. I not only produced multiple blog entries, but wrote a lengthy apology to the MOMS Club membership in my chapter for blowing up via e-mail at one of our members.
Mothers judging mothers happens to be one of my pet peeves. Yesterday, one of our members, L., sent an e-mail to our group asking for advice on getting her son to take a pacifier. Several of us responded with our advice and then one of our new members responded in what I perceived as a judgmental tone asking why L. wanted her son to take a pacifier. I kind of went off on her. Just a little. Especially after she wrote that L. was the best pacifier for her child.
I said that L. was a human being, not a pacifier and that the AAP now recommends the use of pacifiers to help prevent SIDS.
I am totally in favor of breastfeeding, but I don't think that every time your baby cries for no obvious reason (i.e. isn't hungry), you should pop a boob in his mouth. I believe in feeding on demand and I believe in consoling your baby, but I don't believe that mommy is the human pacifier. Sometimes, especially when they have more than one child, mommies need to be able to put junior down for a minute to tend to the needs of other family members. Or, God forbid, their own needs.
Anyway, I said all this rather brusquely, feeling defensive for my friend's right to choose to give her son a pacifier without being judged by the Attachment Parenting and Breastfeeding police. Unfortunately, the mom who questioned the use of the pacifier was even more sensitive and decided she did not fit into our group.
So, I offered my apologies with a statement about how no one in our group had ever judged anyone else for her parenting choices. Hopefully she will decide she can fit in after all.
On another topic, I just want to clarify that I realize I'm also not winning any Pulitzers for my blogging, but I'm also not writing for a premier news magazine. Just to be clear on that.
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5 comments:
I hear you! Anyone judging anyone is my pet peeve. Glass houses and all that..
I heart They Might Be Giants. I saw them in concert in Little Five Points about 8 years ago, good times!
And judgy Moms suck! I am still f'ed up from listening to the breastfeeding/AP police. Breastfeeding is not the answer to life's problems. A happy mom is way better than a breastfeeding miserable mom.
I have never really understood the "Attachment Parenting" thing.
After a certain age, it gets easier to tell if they are crying from lonliness/hunger - or just to cry. Some kids just need to cry it out, I think.
I just feel bad that my snappy reaction made someone else feel bad. I was equally "judgy" in my reaction I think. I immediately labeled her an AP nazi in my mind and jumped on her when maybe I should have given her more leeway for the expression of her opinion.
Jen, I am also a fan of TMBG and when I thought to myself yesterday that I had a bee in my bonnet, I immediately started singing Birdhouse.
What if baby is with Dad? Does L still recommend the nipple?
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