Lazy Days and Saturdays

I've got a lot on my mind today, but nothing I really feel like writing about in depth.

I'm worried about the oil spill. My best friend is from Louisiana. One of my other best friends is from Mobile. As a result, I think a lot about those places and worry when tragedy strikes. Of course, I'd worry about this just as a citizen of the Earth. I have absolutely nothing profound to say on the subject. I just feel very troubled by it.

On a more positive note, my workouts are, well, working. Since January, my BMI is down by 6%. My waist is three inches smaller. My hips are two inches smaller. And my thighs are each an inch smaller. Sadly, I gained eight pounds. But, Eric, my trainer and owner of Eric's Fit Lab in Tucker, told me that I've gained because I've built so much muscle. I'm still not thrilled. I'm so psychologically invested in that number going down and in wearing a size 4. I was a 2 for much of the time I was in college until I was about 24. Still, I'm pretty pumped. In fact, I think I'm going to clean up the brunch dishes and head out for job while I can.

Scott is playing 500 Songs for Kids tonight at Smith's Olde Bar, so I need to get stuff done before it's time to go.

Love this lazy Saturday.

Hope whatever you're doing today, you're doing it with a full and happy heart.

Peace and Light.

Chillout

Looking for a reminder of how big and full of love the human heart can be?

Then, run, don't walk, to check out zefrank.com and in particular this post and song.

Listen to the song and then, please, please read the accompanying story of how the song came about.

My favorite part? Well, there are two really. But I won't spoil it for you by telling you because I want you to have the same goosebump inducing experience that I had while listening to it and reading about it. Scott shared it with me last night and I'm blown away, in complete awe both of the creative genius and heart that went into making it.

I will say this.... Be sure to listen to each part of the recording, the individual tracks contributed by Mr. Frank's readers/followers, and then note how it all comes together. A little bit like the world we live in where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

I'd like to know what you think about this. For me, it's one of those examples that reminds me why we're here. You know...the moments that make God not regret creating humans in the first place.

And tell me, what are some creative projects you've collaborated on and how did they turn out? Are you someone who likes to work with others or do you prefer a solo creative process?

Fuel

Doña Leova positively vibrates with grandmotherly otherworldly love and wisdom. As wise and ancient as she clearly is, there's something else...Her kind brown eyes dance and twinkle with the laughter of a mischievous young girl who has a secret she can't wait to share.

I am surprised and a little delighted when she looks at me with her laughing, knowing eyes as I sit in the folding chair just to the right and facing her and says "Mi niña bonita, me dice acerca de Vida..."

Roberto, Doña Leova's charming, laughing translator repeats, "Tell me about Life, pretty little girl." And so it went. I sat spellbound, listening to Roberto's voice, rich and resonant, as he repeated the words of this...this beautiful woman who defies description. Native healer. Aztec Shaman. Midwife. Mother and grandmother. Healer and friend of Yogi Bhajan, the Sikh guru who brought Kundalini Yoga to the United States in the 1960s and whose motto was, "If you can't see God in all, you can't see God at all."

Soon, Scott wandered over and joined our little circle of seekers. Doña told us lovely stories of her granddaughter who speaks the native Nahuatl language fluently although her parents don't. She told us magical stories of the love between that same granddaughter and her pet cat who disappeared for 20 days while the child visited her other grandparents and who reappeared the same day the granddaughter returned home. And as she told the story, her crinkly-innocent brown eyes were filled with such joy! There was also something so magical and engaging about watching Roberto's face as he listened closely and then re-told her stories in English. I've never really had an up close experience with a translator, something so fun and informal, and it was a delight to behold. I really loved it.

As one of her stories wound to a close, a woman approached Doña and asked her for a healing. I had wanted to, but she had performed several before I walked over and so I assumed she was either tired or done for the evening. As the young woman sat on the chair before Doña, Bo-Maen, one of her hosts in NYC, tried to discourage the young woman, saying Doña was tired. But Roberto assured us that she was not tired, but rather that the more she works with others, the more her energy increases.

The young woman seemed to be expecting more of a metaphorical exprience, I think. Roberto kept telling her to get out of her head..."Between the ears, nothing but sky." After several minutes, the young woman seemed satisfied that she had received an energy transfer or something that Doña Leova had done had worked and she moved away from the group.

At that point, Bo-Maen and Doña motioned for Scott to sit in the healing chair. Calling him muchacho pequeno she asked him what he did. Upon learning that he is a musician, she told him she felt he needed to sing more from the heart. We both replied, "More?"

I felt tears pricking my eyes as she immediately saw into Scott and knew what was blocking him. She worked with him for quite a while on breathing and encouraged him to release his blocks. It was a beautiful and amazing thing to watch. I got chills as she immediately addressed Scott's concerns.

Then, it was my turn. Doña Leova began by using the same technique she had used on all the others to read their energy, pressing her knuckles into my chest while resting another hand upon my shoulder. I was surprised by her strength and by how intense the pressure was. No one else had indicated any sense of pain, but I immediately began crying because the pressure was so intense. Of course, I was already feeling emotional after witnessing Scott's experience.

Next she stood behind me, rubbing my shoulders and cradling my head in her hands. She told me to cry, grito linda chica. y lo deja salir. I refrained from sobbing out loud, but did let the tears flow. Then Roberto told me to keep my eyes closed..."Between the ears, nothing but sky." Doña Leova held my hands and gave me a smooth, round, beautiful marble to hold between my palms, giving me the energy of the Earth.

After several moments, she asked me if I was muy bien. I said, si, muy bien, but she said, "No. No muy bien. Usted tiene griterío a hacer." No. You are not well. You have more crying to do.

She then said the most profound thing anyone has ever said to me, I think. "You are not the story in your head. You are more than that. Release it and let it go." She urged me to choose happiness and helped me recount the blessings for which I am grateful, especially my children. Roberto expanded on her wisdom by saying, "Look around this room. If you want to find something here that you like, you will find it. But if you look for something you don't like, that is what you will find."

It sounds so simple and so obvious maybe, but I feel as though the scales have been lifted from my eyes and for the first time in quite a few years, I see clearly.

I am so much more than the story in my head and I live in an amazing time in an amazing world filled with amazing opportunities.

I am blessed, but so much more than ever before for opening myself up to this joyful, delightful, mystical opportunity. I am striving to hold onto this feeling of love and peace that was given to me by this beautiful, magical woman who showed up in my life at just the right time.

I almost chose not to go to NY with Scott on this trip. I am thankful the voice in my head kept pushing me to do it and that I listened. I am eternally grateful to have had this opportunity.

Peace and Light.

The Perfect Space

Returning from a hiatus as long as the one I've taken from this blog is difficult. There's much I want to say and more that I don't care to mention. And so it is.

I choose to move forward without looking back, steadily moving into my future and all the blessings it holds.

For years I have feared certain aspects of myself. I live my life, much of the time, as if I am two people. Conservative housewife and former businesswoman Dawn and artistic, creative, dreamer, spiritual Dawn. I haven't ever really figured out how to merge those two. And it seems to me that the people who embrace one of those aspects aren't the same who would embrace the other.

What to do?

This past weekend I had an experience – several actually – that I hope have opened the door to my being able to fully integrate all aspects of my being. I hope I find myself free to be whoever it is I feel like being no matter whom I am around. Smart and sensible or Beautiful Dreamer creating a new reality for myself and those I love.

On Friday, Scott and I flew to NYC to help celebrate with our friends Christopher and Yasuko the re-opening of The Center for Remembering and Sharing, an arts and healing center the two of them run together. As Yasuko put it in her speech on Saturday night, her healing work and the artistic endeavors of those who teach and perform there are meant to help us "remember who we are and to share ourselves with others."

To celebrate the opening and highlight some of the extremely talented performers who work with CRS, the evening's performances included two delightful dancers, an acclaimed violinist who was whisked away to perform with the NY Philharmonic immediately following her performance, and Scott, playing a 10-song set.

The crowd attending the event was made up of some of the most interesting people I have had the pleasure of talking to in years. Artists of all types, including visual artists, singers, dancers, actors, and composers. There were healers. There were healers who were also artists. There were yogis and yoginis, many of whom were also artists. It was a very inspiring group of people.

I loved hearing their stories.

There was, of course, Yasuko, who founded CRS and with Chris has helped hundreds of individuals connect with their passions and grow in their art. I loved hearing how she found herself alone in the U.S. with no job and no idea of what she was meant to do, but the strong knowledge that she was meant to be right where she was and how her searching led her to her life's work. I loved it when she told me that at 49 she took her first ballet lesson to support a friend of hers who had just resumed teaching ballet after her husband left her and then, a few days, after turning 50, Yasuko had her first dance recital, pink tutu and all.

I enjoyed talking to the man from New Jersey who teaches aikido and who took up copywriting after retiring from a completely different career.

There was the woman who had a friend sing a traditional Japanese song about the ghost of a scorned woman who comes back to seek revenge on her filandering husband, at her wedding. And of course, there was the woman who sang the song at the wedding, who as it turns out, is a Japanese woman who sings gospel music.

There were also the Chinese accupuncturist/yogini, the writer from London, the Swedish painter, and the Eastern European woman who didn't know anyone and escaped before I could chat with her, but who came to the event just because she was curious what the place was all about.

I wish I could still be there talking to all the fascinating people I didn't get to meet. What I plan to do is to hold onto as much of that intoxicating energy and inspiration as I can.

There's much more to share, especially about my fascinating healing experience with Doña Leova, a traditional Nauahtl shaman, who was the healer to Yogi Bhajan, originator of Kundalini Yoga in the U.S. My experience meeting her was amazing and I can't wait to share it with you tomorrow.

Peace and Light.