Live Through This

Early Friday morning, the beautiful 2-month old daughter of one of my friends died of SIDS. Claire was one of the sweetest little babies I've ever known. The fourth child, third daughter, she was loved, not only by her parents, but by all of us who have had the opportunity to know her family. They're really an amazing family.

The entire weekend was awful for me. It was my 15th college reunion and even while I was with my college friends, catching up, laughing, smiling, talking, drinking, I felt like I might just collapse from the weight of this pain and my guilt at any moment.

How? Why? It doesn't matter. The death of a child always seems tragic. But a baby, so innocent and pure and healthy. There's no way to make sense of it, but I think it's just so incomprehensible that something like this could happen. And no one knows what to do with it. How to act or be, what to say. What can you say?

I feel guilty and angry and so, so, so sad for my friends.