Give a Little Bit

On February 15 of 2007, friends of ours named T. and S. brought their beautiful new baby girl into the world. They named her Claire and she joined their happy, energetic family of five, that included two big sisters and a big brother. Just two months younger than my Beckett, Claire was a sweet, angelic, beautiful and quiet baby girl. I only heard her cry one time and then all it took was me cooing and talking to her to settle her down until her mommy could pick her up.

On April 19, 2007, T. and S. awoke to find that their baby girl had died in her sleep of SIDS. And so began the most gut-wrenching journey of their lives.

T. told me once that the only thing that gave her any real sense of peace or comfort throughout the last year was when she had the opportunity to attend a memorial service for the families of organ donors that was attended by the recipients of donor organs and their families. I have a vague recollection that she might have met a family that received one of Claire's organs. The knowledge that somehow someone was helped from all of it dulled the pain for a moment at least.

This year our circle of friends has been very intent on helping T. and S. get through the day that would have seen their lovely girl turning one. None of us can imagine their pain, but we would do anything in our power to lessen it. For weeks, we wondered and worried over what an appropriate and joyful celebration of her brief life might be. Then T. came up with an idea of her own. She said that if she were not pregnant (she's due on Mar. 21), she would like to donate blood in Claire's honor that day.

We couldn't think of a more touching memorial, so another friend – Carrie – and I have organized a blood drive in Claire's honor on February 15.

Blood supplies fall to critical levels at this time of year and here in Atlanta supplies are extremely low right now.

If you live in the Atlanta area, I encourage you to take some time out of your day on Feb. 15 and come to the Red Cross Donation Center on Monroe Drive.

There are two ways you can go about this if you want to participate. You can give your information to me via the comment form below and we will schedule the appointment and get back to you. Or you can contact Beverly Vicks @ the Red Cross 1-800-448-3543 option 1. If you have given, we or Beverly will need your first and last name. If you have never donated, we need your first, last, DOB and phone # to get you processed before the 15th. The donation will be given at the Monroe facility right off of the I-85 exit. If and when you call Beverly, tell her specifically that you're calling for the Claire Austin donation on the 15th of Feb. Please let us know if you will need someone to sit with your children there while you donate. Schools are out on this day, but we still want you to come.

We are hoping this will become an annual event. And even if you live in another city and want to donate on that day or around this time, let me know.

If you plan to donate, also please leave a comment even if you don't need me to schedule you. We'd like to let the family know how their experience has impacted others and the positive light that radiates from their darling girl's brief life.

Thanks.

Happiness Runs

The last week or so has found me in a very strange place mentally. I haven't blogged much because much of what I was feeling was dark. I was in a really scared and lonely place and didn't feel the need to subject the world at large to what was going on. I talked through a couple of things with Scott, with Suzanne, and with Jeremy. I don't know that I found any answers, but I found it incredibly comforting to know that I have people who care about me in my life. I'm lucky.

Obviously, a lot of what was going on with me has to do with the loss of my friend's baby. I keep replaying the moment, six days before Claire died, when I joked with my friend that she had a daughter for both of my sons. Her daughter Emily is just a month or two younger than Brendan and Claire was two months younger than Beckett. Emily and her older sister are both beautiful, but Emily is a real charmer with a smile that lights up the room while her older sister maintains that oldest child seriousness much of the time. I just keep imagining the beautiful, sweet child Claire might have become.

So, that combined with hearing from someone I care about that I'm really selfish and a bad friend, along with seeing a bunch of old college friends, has made me start taking stock of my life and some of the things I'd like to do but haven't yet.

I'm giving serious consideration to running in a half-marathon as a result. Of course, I've only been considering it for the last 24 hours or so after receiving an e-mail about this organization from my friend Susan. Susan suggested that members of our college class run the Nike Women's Half-Marathon in San Francisco together. It just struck me as a really cool goal to set for myself. A place to get to.

The problem is that I do not run. I've never been much of an athlete, but I'm thinking that can change. Maybe it should change.

Any runners out there who'd like to offer an opinion? Any advice on how to get started? Should I try to run with the 55 lbs. worth of kids plus a 20 lb. jogging stroller or without? Am I crazy to think I can start running now when I never have before?

Let me know what y'all think...

Live Through This

Early Friday morning, the beautiful 2-month old daughter of one of my friends died of SIDS. Claire was one of the sweetest little babies I've ever known. The fourth child, third daughter, she was loved, not only by her parents, but by all of us who have had the opportunity to know her family. They're really an amazing family.

The entire weekend was awful for me. It was my 15th college reunion and even while I was with my college friends, catching up, laughing, smiling, talking, drinking, I felt like I might just collapse from the weight of this pain and my guilt at any moment.

How? Why? It doesn't matter. The death of a child always seems tragic. But a baby, so innocent and pure and healthy. There's no way to make sense of it, but I think it's just so incomprehensible that something like this could happen. And no one knows what to do with it. How to act or be, what to say. What can you say?

I feel guilty and angry and so, so, so sad for my friends.