Fabulous Friday: You Light Up My Life

My husband picks on me sometimes because I so often look outside myself for inspiration and guidance. You'd think that as an only child, I'd be more independent and less reliant on others. But I'm not. Sue me. I take my inspiration wherever I can find it. Sunny day. Wise words from a close friend. Self-help books. And blogs.

The last 3 weeks or so, I've found some great inspiration in the SITSGirls community for bloggers. One blogger in particular has inspired me with her enthusiasm, tirelessness and work ethic, the long list of all she does – including caring for a daughter with special needs – and the leadership she has shown as moderator for the SITSGirls 31 Days to Build a Better Blog challenge. Shelley, from I'm Still Standing, is an awe-inspiring person who just does what needs doing. She makes me feel like I can do anything, too.

Every day I think, I don't know if I can finish this, but then I see all that Shelley does and I read her daily posts that are written with such joy and light and I think, "Well, I have to do this. If Shelley can do it with all the other things she has going on, I can do it." And I do. Then, I feel happier and closer to my own personal goals.

Thank you, Shelley, for sharing all that you do and for being a great leader on this journey to a better blog!

A Change Will Do You Good

So....


Welcome to the new, and I hope you'll agree, improved digs. What do y'all think?


As y'all may know, I'm participating in the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge. One of the tasks was to create an editorial calendar for your blog, which I did. In the process of reading about forming an editorial calendar, I saw a couple of experts who recommended themed days. They claim readers like that. A lot. Although, most of the popular blogs I read don't do that. Now. Perhaps they did in their infancy, but I don't know. All I know is this... I generally find themed days kind of cheesy and not really my style.


But guess what? I think change is good and I feel like spicin' things up around here. So, to that end, I'm going to give themed blog posts a trial run. There's no guarantee that I won't have a random I-must-post-this-today-even-though-it's-Recipe-Day-and-this-is-not-a-recipe-day here and there, but for the most part, I'm going to try and stick to this for a while and see how it works. 


Here's my current plan:

Musical Mondays: Review or share a new band, piece of music I love, or video.

Tasty Tuesdays: Recipes, kids’ party info, or information about food and health; relate to parenting

Wordy Wednesdays: A longer feature on parenting

Take That Thursdays: A review or opinion piece

Fabulous Fridays: Shout Outs or Inspiring Things and/or People

Spontaneous Saturday: Anything goes

Spiritual Sunday: Faith, inspiration, and reflection

Of course, I want to know what you think. 


Are themed posts a good idea? Like? Dislike? What do you do on your blog? 


And what do you think of the new design?


Do share!







P.S. A shout out to Jacqui of Wacky Jacqui's Designs for the new look! 

Get The Party Started: iTunes Giveaway at I'm Still Standing for SITSGirls 31DBBB Participants

Shelly, special needs mom, advocate, blogger extraordinaire, and all-around amazing woman, as well as  host of the February 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge at SITSGirls wants you to come to the party. The blogging party, that is.

Over the course of the last 10 days or so (the challenge began on Feb. 1, but we only have exercises on weekdays), Shelly has led us through Darren Rowse's ProBlogger Book, one lesson at a time. So far, I've refined my elevator pitch, been reminded of the power of networking, and of using available resources like Google Alerts and forums to which you already belong, as well as using a variety of different writing techniques, like lists, to spice up your blog. I found it very useful to be reminded of the importance of internal linking which I tend to overlook, but the most important thing I've gained since starting this exercise is inspiration and a framework within which to make the changes I need to make.

For too long, I was of the mind that "If you write it, they will come." I thought about what I was writing, but not how I was presenting the information or how I was marketing it. For a while I did work to build genuine relationships with other bloggers, but I see now how much more effort is required if I want to grow this blog and build a shared community for other like-minded fellows. (For the record, I do.)

Even though I had to play catch-up because I started late and I've had other writing projects this week that caused me to do days 7 & 8 and 9 & 10 of the challenge on the same days, I'm still in the game and having fun.

And so are a lot of other bloggers! I've been impressed with both the quantity and quality of the other bloggers participating. To celebrate our making it 1/3 of the way through the challenge, Shelly is giving    away a $20 iTunes gift card to one blogger who posts about the challenge and comments on her blog.

It's still not too late to join the challenge, either...

You Are Not Alone in This: Overcoming Anger and Frustration

If you had known me when I was in college and witnessed me being angry, you might have feared me or my anger. I was, not merely a yeller, but a thrower, too. Push me too far and I would pick up the first thing I could wrap my hands around and hurl it at your head. Just ask the trashiest girl from my college class whom I found hanging out in my boyfriend's dorm room one afternoon. Or my friend J.'s boyfriend who provoked me to throw my shoe at his head because he thought it would be funny to hold me upside down over a stairwell.

Don't worry. Anger gives you bad aim and the sane can duck really well, apparently. I don't remember ever making contact with anyone's head.

Over the years, I've learned to control my anger. I breathe. I think about the consequences of how I express my anger. Sometimes I stifle. I still get mad about stuff most people would let roll of their backs.

I hate noise. I hate being disrespected or ignored. I hate it when people act superior. I get mad and I rant and I yell.

I'm not proud of any of this and I've worked really hard to change, but I fell the need to continue growing in this area. I'm pretty much to the point where I only yell when I feel like one of the boys isn't listening or doing as they are told. Which is pretty much every day.

Obviously, this technique isn't working. In the last few weeks, I have found myself pausing when I feel the rush and swell of emotion rising up from my gut to my chest, the muscles in my arms and hands clenching. I pause and I ask myself if the situation really warrants that level of anger. Then, I take a breath and move forward trying to correct the situation without yelling. Sometimes I find myself talking through clenched teeth, especially when trying to get homework done each day with a child who would rather be doing anything other than homework, but for the most part I am acting rationally. Still, at this point, it's an effort, not my natural reaction. But, it's forward progress and a long way from the days I would get so angry I ended up in tears.

In thinking about how to change some of my behaviors, I found this post by Shannon at The Discipline Project. I like her simple approach, but fear it won't be that effective on me. Sadly, I don't usually hesitate to yell at my kids in front of other parents. I am who I am. I could pretend my mother-in-law was here, though. That might actually work. I do think it's the kind of idea that is profound in its simplicity and might actually work. A twist on it for me is to think about what God would say to me about my behavior and if I could proudly stand before God after yelling at my kids.

Whatever works. I am thankful to Shannon for the inspiration. It's always good to know there are others walking the path with you, reaching out a hand of hope and that you can in turn do the same one day. And as I remind myself every morning... Today is a new day and new opportunity to be the woman I want to be.