I Can't Get My Head Around It

I want to be a good Catholic and leave all judgment up to God, to believe in my heart that the death penalty is wrong. But then, I hear a story like this one, about a girl just going about her life, doing something she loved, and not bothering anyone, who gets murdered by some low-life creep and it all goes out the window.

I don't know why this story hits so close to home with me. I guess it's a case of there but for the grace of God... I was never an avid hiker, but when I was this girl's age, I certainly went hiking alone, without even a dog, on portions of the Appalachian Trail and had fantasies of hiking the whole thing some day. I never gave a second thought to the safety of it. I never told anyone where I'd be either. I just went and got a room at a state park lodge and went hiking, just to be alone in nature and clear my head. It never occurred to me that some random creep could be out there on the trails, waiting to murder someone. And I'm sure it never occurred to Meredith either. Why would it? Why would any of us think there's another human out there wishing to do us harm? We shouldn't have to think that way.

Of course, I think our society might be more violent now than it was 12 or 13 years ago with less respect for life or other people generally. I often think we're in our decline as a culture and society, but then I start freaking out and can't let myself go there. I worry too much about what this world will be like when my children are grown. It's just too overwhelming sometimes.

I feel awful for Meredith's poor family. And I just can't get my head around why this creep would have to murder her. But in my heart I can't make myself find any reason why he should get to live – even in prison – when he so readily took this poor girl's life.