Once More with Feeling (Reprise)

I don't know where Jeremy found this quote, but it's too brilliant not to share with as many people as possible.

Check it out...

Let's Get It Started

Well, hey, y'all.

Wait. Are those crickets I hear? Am I all alone here after abandoning my post lo these many days, nay weeks?

I just haven't been able to get it together to write. I feel mentally fatigued. Lost. Wondering why I write and if I actually have anything of value to say. I was thinking about just walking away.

However, A. has a post on her blog that hit very close to home for me. I feel like I've been treading water in a sea of stress and dismay related to behavior problems (Brendan's and my own) and my inability to balance my part-time job, my duties as a wife and mother, and my desire to have a life that isn't solely consumed by cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. At least this blog gives me an outlet and keeps me connected with like minds – shoot, better minds! – and allows me space to figure out my purpose in this world.

Anyway, despite wondering how I can balance my need and desire to write and remain relatively honest with myself and you all with an apparently growing need not to offend or upset anyone else, I've decided to give this another go. I've thought about taking the blog private so that you'd have to register to read it, but that just seems too depressing. I might then find that no one actually gives a damn. I don't really want to do either of those things... Force readers to register or find out what a pathetic loser I am.

Or I could suck it up and be me, whoever that is.

So, I thought I'd start with a layout change. Unfortunately, I screwed up saving some of my links. If I've left you off my blogroll, please forgive me. I added the blogs whose urls I knew off the top of my head. If yours isn't there, it's because I'm going to need to find the url and add you. It's not that I don't love you to pieces!

Alright. Here we go. Again.

'Night, Y'all.

Michelle

I'm going to geek out on you a little now.

I cried a little last night hearing Michelle Obama speak. She was great.

I admire Hillary Clinton. But, sadly, she isn't what this country wants. This country is still looking for warmth and compassion in its leaders and their spouses. Bill's got that warmth. Hillary has never had it. Whipsmart she may be, however, she does not come across as warm, loving, and someone who could lift this country up in a time of crisis or need (she could be calm, cool, and stable, but that's not always what we want or look for in female leadership). From Eleanor Roosevelt to Jacqueline Kennedy and now Ms. Obama, I think what we're all hoping to find is a National Mommy. Someone who will help pick us up when we fall, remaining calm and strong in a crisis, but showing us her warmth, compassion, and humanity all the while.

I saw all of that, along with a blazing intelligence and passion for doing the right thing, in Michelle Obama last night.

I would be proud to have her as First Lady and to have her husband in office.

I pray that the Hillary delegates will put any bitterness aside for the sake of our country, that we can all unite as Democrats and come together to win the election and make real, substantive change happen in this country and in this world.

I'm excited. For the first time in a long time.

I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve yesterday waiting for the Convention to get under way last night. I was disappointed that we only got an hour of it on TV and had to listen to Katie Couric blathering away over Michelle Obama's brother.

I also have to say, I'm tired of the Kennedy's. They really don't matter any more and I wish they'd quit hauling them out all the time. Ted will be the last Kennedy to make a difference in political life in this country.

Of course, I don't want to get too excited. The last two elections have made me wary of getting my hopes up.

I guess it's just a waiting (and hoping) game at this point.

Hurt

And so, I rise from the dead.

I've been working. Getting Brendan settled in school. Dealing with hurt feelings. My own hurt feelings. I'm trying to figure out why some people are the way they are.

I found out through my brother-in-law that Scott's dad and stepmom had a "Grandson's Week" where they invited three of their five grandsons to spend the week with them. As you've figured out by now, our sons weren't included. I can understand not including the baby. But why not Brendan?

I sent an e-mail inviting them to attend Grandparent's Day at Brendan's school and when they declined because that's the day they're having some repairs done to their roof and Stepmom has a doctor's appointment, I told them how hurt I was that they didn't include Brendan and that they treat him like they don't love him. They've really broken my heart in a way that I have trouble expressing. The idea that grandparents who are supposed to adore their grandkids and love them absolutely unconditionally aren't able to do so, that they favor certain kids over my sweet, sensitive, bright, funny little boy because he's shy and not a rambunctious, eager child who craves their attention because they ply him with sweets really hurts, angers, and confuses me.

How dare they!

I've tried to have a relationship with them. But of course, they blame us.

Their response was that they haven't gotten to know Brendan because he's so shy and he doesn't try to talk to them when they try to interact with him.

They said the other daughters-in-law and sons just pop in whenever they're passing through. Here's the kicker. Both of Scott's brothers went to college in the town where my in-laws live. They go over for every football game in the fall. One of the brothers lives 30 minutes away. They told me that his wife leaves their kids with them while she goes to get her hair done and that's how they've gotten to know them.

I am really outraged when I think about it.

We live 2 hours away. If we're passing through it's because we're on our way somewhere and don't have time. How is it fair to compare me to my sister-in-law who goes to a salon a mile from their house because her nephew works there and she gets her hair done at a discount? And has free babysitting to boot. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

I tried to visit them this summer and they gave me four days out of the month of July that they'd be available. On two of those days, we had out of town guests that we'd been anticipating all summer. Some of Brendan's favorite people in fact.

I tried to go the other two days, but had car trouble and couldn't get there because my car was in the shop. Of course, when I invited them to come here, they said they prefer to see the kids at their own home because kids react differently when they're at their homes and with their parents.

And they had the audacity to tell me that I misinterpreted what they meant when they asked me to leave with Brendan when they threw us out of their house.

I just don't know what to do. How do I get through to these people?

It hurts so much. I don't really care if they hate me, but how could they not love their own grandchild?

So, now you know part of why I haven't been around. I've been licking my wounds and trying to control my rage; not wanting to say anything too wrong. To fuck up by writing something I'd regret. But finding a way to express what I'm feeling. Sadly, writing about it makes me feel it even more strongly.

Sunny Day

This is our last Thursday before school begins and I've managed to fill it to the brim. I've scheduled a double playdate for both Brendan and Beckett today with my friend L. and her two little boys. Her oldest is a year younger than Brendan, but loves him and always wants to play with him at our house. Her baby and Beckett are just a couple of months apart and play very nicely alongside one another. This is the first time all summer we've been able to coordinate our schedules to make getting all six of us together at once possible.

Rising to the occasion (in multiple ways), I awoke at 5:30 so I could bake some Amish Friendship bread and make a fruit salad for snacks. I still need to vacuum and clean our guest bathroom and shower.

This afternoon, I've scheduled a swimming playdate for Brendan with his friend Mark at the neighborhood pool. He has talked about going to Mark's pool constantly since we went there in June.

Yesterday, we went and registered Brendan for Kindergarten. Scott and I were both very, very happy to learn that Brendan ended up in the class with the teacher who is widely regarded as being the best Kindergarten teacher in the school. Yay! I could dance a jig. She seems so smart and kind and organized. I volunteered to be a room mom even though she already had two other volunteers. I will offer my assistance on a "part-time' basis on the two mornings Beckett is at PMO. I am just so thankful he ended up in her class. A bit confused as to why there are so many boys in her class and so few in the other Mrs. S.'s class (each class had like a 3/4 to 1/4 divide between boys and girls), but that's okay. He has a lot of kids in his class that he knew from last year so hopefully that will ease the transition.

It's been yet another busy week. My boss is encouraging me to get my real estate license and I'm not sure that's something I want to do. Despite the fact that I work for a realtor, I feel like most real estate agents are just like Annette Benning's character in American Beauty. And I don't really think that's me. Not so much.

Whatever.

I clearly have nothing witty or profound to say today. Just a random update on the happenings at chez moi.

I hope everyone else has had a great week. I actually do have other stuff to write about, just not enough time! My mother-in-law is coming on Saturday so I'll be getting ready for her. Hopefully, I'll find more time to write later tonight or tomorrow.

Cars

I'm filled with links today. No. Not the sausagey kind. Linky goodness to let you know what is going on in this crazy world of ours.

Read this. And when you're done go get your tires filled and schedule a tune-up.

Fat-Bottomed Girls

"Parents want to feed their children healthy meals, but America's chain restaurants are setting parents up to fail," CSPI nutrition policy director Margo G. Wootan said in a statement. "McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, and other chains are conditioning kids to expect burgers, fried chicken, pizza, french fries, macaroni and cheese, and soda in various combination at almost every lunch and dinner."

I'm sorry? I must have misunderstood you, Ms. Wootan. Are you implying that as a parent, I have no control over or responsibility for what my child eats?

For God's sake, people. This is exactly what is wrong with this country. Trust me. I hate on corporate America as much as the next card-carrying liberal. But blaming fast food companies because of the crap our kids eat and their entitled little whining attitudes about what they want to eat goes entirely too far for this mom. And I say all of this as the parent of a child who begs to eat at Mickey D's every chance he gets, who is picky, and whose picky eating habits are a constant worry on me.

I pester, prod, and push my child to eat healthier. And I do indulge him in a trip to McDonald's or Burger King, knowing it's more about the toy than anything else, every once in a while. What I don't do is blame any one else for the way he eats or doesn't eat. I don't blame Kraft or Kellogg's or General Mills or RJR/Nabisco or ConAgra or any of the makers of convenience foods and snacks. If my child doesn't eat well it's because I as his mother and provider of nourishment have in some way failed to bring good foods to him or convince him to eat those good foods.

It's bullshit to say that "...America's chain restaurants have set parents up to fail." God that attitude sickens me.

Anyone who sat through a fourth grade health class or has watched a fucking PSA knows how to feed a child or how to eat healthfully themselves. To blame fast food outlets because people eat there is nuts. There's plenty you can blame them for in terms of the quality of food they provide, but they do what they do and we all know what they do when we choose to walk through their doors or drive up to their drive-thru windows.

No one is to blame for an obese America except Americans themselves who choose to eat poorly, sit on their fat, lazy asses and then blame someone else.

Boys Will Be Boys

This article pretty much confirms my limited experience raising children and highlights one of my biggest fears as the parent of sons.

For all the failings of the educational system over the past several decades to reach out to female students, it appears the ship has turned 180 degrees to the point that boys are being shut out.

I've been reading this research for a few years now... The lack of tactile experiences, the focus on test scores that requires endless sitting still in the classroom, the focus on teaching facts and figures at younger and younger ages while eliminating any experiences that teach the joy of learning, e.g. art, music, group activities.... These are all cited as central to the fact that more and more boys each year are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD when, in fact, they are just being boys.

We are trying to force kids to do things at ages four, five, and six, that their brains are not physically capable of doing. And it's worse on boys because their brains mature more slowly than those of girls.

And it's really easy to turn that all into a big joke, but ultimately, the joke is on us as a society. If we crush the self-esteem of a generation of little boys, tell them there is something wrong with them when they're simply being who and what they are, what kind of men will we produce.

I'm terrified of what this school year will bring.

But, I'm really glad there's research going on in this area and that others are noticing. I'm glad that a mainstream publication like Parenting is talking about it. I just wish it would trickle down to our educators. My fear is, however, that the ability to dose little boys with poison to the point that we zombify them and make things easier for our largely female teachers, is such a temptation that we will never recover.

I'm So Tired

I hate feeling dumb. But boy do I feel dumb today.

For a couple of weeks now I have been totally on edge. Snapping at people. My poor kids and husband included. I've felt edgy, achy, totally discombobulated.

This week, it kind of came to a head. I was feeling anxious about Scott's show. I had to make a decision about a job offer I'd received for a pretty cool job that would pay a fantastic amount of money but require me to go into an office one day a week and force us to hire a nanny and/or housekeeper because I'd need someone to help with Beckett. I walked around in tears or on the verge of tears for a week.

There were a couple of moments where I wondered if I might be having a nervous breakdown.

I was wondering what was up? Why would stuff that I could typically deal with without batting an eyelash push me so close to the edge?

Then, Saturday, it dawned on me.

I haven't had a break since May. Scott and I have gone out alone a couple of times, but most of the times we've had a sitter, it's been because he's playing. Or we've gone out with other people. I've been with the kids constantly except for the two or three times I've hired a sitter to go to a work meeting.

No down time for me since May. Even when Beckett has napped, I still have Brendan.

I love my kids. I love my life. But sometimes... I need some time. A bubble bath. A quiet hour with a book. To go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door and asking me to come do something that could wait.

So, this morning, I planned to get up at 6:30 and work out. I actually woke up a bit earlier raring to go. I got up, did some Pilates, and only just now has Beckett awoken. Brendan is still asleep.

And I feel great!

Refresed, revived, and ready to go.

Coming Up Roses

I hate Back to School time. Well, I sort of love it. And I sort of hate it. As a student, I loved it. I loved learning and for me, summer was a long, boring, friendless time. I filled the days with reading books, listening to music, and counting down the days until school began again. While my friends were going to visit grandparents in far away places or making sojourns to the beach with their families, I was stuck at home all day while my mom worked.

This summer, we didn't go on vacation. The trip I planned for the boys to see their grandparents was waylaid by car trouble. It has been a long, boring, friendless time for me where I have felt cooped up and lonely. Even the things we've done haven't felt like things I wanted to do, but obligations.

This summer has felt long and exhausting. I haven't had a moment of me time it feels like. I haven't even exercised in months. I haven't had time to think or pray or do anything to rejuvenate my spirit. I feel aimless, hopeless, lonely, sad, confused.

But, I'm somehow not ready for school to begin again. Mostly, just because I don't like the school board deciding that school should go back in the middle of summer.

School starts in our county on August 11. August e-lev-enth! Can you believe that? It stinks for the kids.

We haven't even been on vacation yet.

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH.

I hate this frantic, frenetic, stupid, stupid world.

Black River

There are just a few more days to order tickets to Scott Downes Live at Underneath. You can get your tickets here. Remember, too that the ticket price includes beer and wine. It should be a great night of good music in a relaxed and intimate setting.

I know I'm shameless in plugging my husband's music, but I believe he is a gifted and talented songwriter and I want to share his music with as many folks as I can. If you're new here or you've never heard him, you can check him out on his web site. I suggest the live show at Kavarna.

Now, I said I was going to give away two tickets to his show this week and so I shall. If you live in the Atlanta metro area and you're interested in going to the show, visit Scott's site and listen to the song Black River. After you're done, come back here, and post a comment telling me what gets thrown in the water at the end of the song. I will choose one winner at random from the correct answers.

The contest starts now, Monday, 7/21, at 4:15 p.m. and will run through 4:15 p.m. tomorrow, 7/22.

Chimes of Freedom

Scott's cousin Valerie is an amazing woman. She's a gifted artist and one of the most awe-inspiring women near my age that I've ever met. I don't say it lightly when I say that there are some people that have the spark of the Holy Spirit in them and Valerie is on of those people. She has an unusual burden gift in being able to feel and carry the pain of others. It's not just that she can feel their pain, but that she wants to. Her empathy leads her to want to connect with others in this way, to truly experience what someone else felt or is feeling. She's a generous, and deeply beautiful human being.

She recently completed a 2100 mile bike ride that retraced the Underground Railroad from Montgomery, Alabama to Owens Sound in Canada.

You can read about her adventures here.

Chaos and Creation

Another super busy week. I've much to be grateful for, however, and I am delighted to find myself at home, blogging to my heart's content.

Last week I promised you book reviews and reviews you shall have, my friends. Today, I'm going to give you the lowdown on my friend Susan Schanerman's book Play or Pay: 77 Ways to Have Fun or Suffer the Consequences and End Up Paying the Price. But first, these messages... I do have a couple of exciting announcements. I am going to have two contests this week. Atlanta folk, get your babysitter ready. I'm giving away 2 tickets to Scott's show at Underneath next week, July 26th. More on that tomorrow.

And also, next week, I'm going to give away a copy of Anita Renfroe's new stand-up DVD. Again, more later.

Now, about Play or Pay: 77 Ways to Have Fun or Suffer the Consequences and End Up Paying the Price... If you're looking for a reminder that all work and no play makes you dull, dull, dull, in ways more than one, this is an excellent reminder.

Author Susan Schanerman survived polio as a child, but missed out on much of the fun and normal childhood activities of she saw other kids experiencing. As an adult, Susan came to see that much of the distress in her life, as well as the creative blocks in her own life and those of her clients, resulted from an inability to relax, play, and have fun. She points out in the introduction to her book that by adopting a more "play-full" attitude towards life, we can open our creative channels, and improve both our physical and mental health simply by playing and reducing our stress levels.

Play or Pay is short, fun book that you can read by opening it up to any page and finding a suggestion for a way to play. Having a bad day? Feeling stressed out? Pick up the book and open it up. You'll find suggestions like "Make a date with yourself. Take yourself to a favorite spot you haven't been to in ages." Or "Go to a Museum or art gallery. Spend enough time to allow yourself to feel completely inspired. Go home and experiment doing something creative."

It's a simple, but fun and inspiring book that reminds us all to slow down a little, take some time for ourselves, and have fun with this life because we only get this one and we might as well enjoy it.

I've been having fun just imagining myself doing some of the things in the book. I can only imagine the fun I'll have once I start doing some of the things in the book.

If you're curious, you can order your copy at Susan's web site. If you're a creative who's feeling blocked, you might also be interested in reading about her creative coaching services as well.

Rise Up with Fists!

I don't typically do this, but sometimes something feels important enough to share with as many people as possible, so I am republishing a message I received from MOMS Rising, the leading national advocacy organization for women, children, and families.

There are always many worthy issues being upheld by MOMS Rising, but this one in particular enrages me. To see huge corporations profiting at the expense of our children is, to me, one of the most heinous, offensive acts imaginable. Yet, it happens every single day. If that weren't the case, not only would toys, sippy cups, baby bottles, diapers, and the cars we drive not be filled with nasty, carcinogenic, and otherwise deadly toxins, they'd still be made in America. Even more egregious is that our government creates an environment of entitlement for these corporations and manipulates the rules to let them get away with what amounts to murder. Worse yet? Us. We let our government and the mega-corporations that actually run our country get away with it.

We do this, of course, not because we don't care about our health or the health of our children. But because we're tired and lazy. Because it's too hard to care when you're struggling just to survive and when the public relations arms and lobbyists for these companies are spewing disinformation designed to make you think their products are safe and that they're just poor business owners being maligned by the liberal media while they're just trying to make a living.

Yes, it's exhausting getting by day to day and paycheck to paycheck as most Americans live. We shouldn't be asked to take on fighting an uphill, never-ending battle against evil men (and women) who would profit on the health and safety of our families (and their own). But, if we don't fight it, who will? Who cares more about your own children than you do (Yes. God does, but that's not the discussion we're having today.)?

Anyway, here's the information I received from MOMS Rising:

As if the price of gas wasn't bad enough, now Exxon Mobil is aggressively lobbying to defeat our efforts to ban phthalates, a toxic chemical, from kids' toys.

Hundreds of independent, peer-reviewed scientific studies that have been generated since the 1970s link phthalate exposure to serious health effects including reduced testosterone levels, lowered sperm counts, early puberty in girls, and genital defects in baby boys.

Tell Congress not to prioritize Exxon Mobil's profits over our kids' health:

http://www.momsrising.org/ban_phthalates

Why is Exxon Mobil using its deep pockets to fight the efforts of moms and dads to ban phthalates from kids' toys? It's simple. Exxon Mobil is one of the world's largest producers of DINP -- the primary plasticizer used to make soft plastic kids toys. Banning phthalates would be bad for Exxon Mobil's business. But I'm not too worried about their profit margin, last year they broke the record for profits earned by a U.S. corporation -- $40.6 billion.[1]

Last month, you sent over 19,000 letters to Congress which helped convince one key undecided member -- Rep. Diana DeGette -- to go on record in support of a ban on toxic phthalates in children's toys. Now we need only two more votes to win passage of this critical measure. Please send letters to the four members of the House Conference Committee who are still undecided.

http://www.momsrising.org/ban_phthalates

Let's show Exxon Mobil that they are no match for the moms and dads of this country. Through the efforts of MomsRising.org members and our aligned organizations, we are shaking the halls of Congress with our demands for swift action to protect our kids from toxic toys and other children's products. And our leaders are listening. We have achieved a critical moment where the will of people and political actions of our leaders are finally coalescing to create a strong response to toxic toys.

Right now, a House/Senate Conference Committee is meeting to finalize the Consumer Product Safety Commission Reform Act (CPSC) Act which will strengthen our nation's protections against toxic toys. We have a critical window in the next two weeks to add the Feinstein Amendment to the CPSC, restricting the use of six toxic phthalates in children's toys.

Please take a minute to forward this message to your friends and family. The more letters we send to Congress, the more impact we will have. Thanks again for your incredible work to move Congress to finally take action to prevent toxic toys from reaching our children!

Donna, Kristin, Joan, Roz, Katie, Mary, and the MomsRising.org Team

[1] http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/01/business/01cnd-exxon.html

P.S. For information about how to reduce your child's exposure to toxic chemicals see,

http://www.environmentcalifornia.org/environmental-health/stop-toxic-toys/recommendations-for-parents

http://www.healthytoys.org

P.P.S. For more information about phthalates, click here,

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/site/pp.asp?c=kwKXLdPaE&b=4132341

Happy Sunday

Last week was a busy one and I was left with little time to write. It involved car trouble, a show at Chastain Park, work, reading three books which I plan to review for you this week, and Scott's show at Kavarna last night.

Scott was fantastic and the crowd was great. Jim Combs, who is one of the organizers of the Atlanta Songwriter's Series, played first as Sensitive Chaos. Electronic or ambient music isn't something I know a lot about (make that anything), but I really enjoyed what he did. It was really nice and relaxing.

One of the acts dropped out because it was going to be too expensive for him to drive in from North Carolina, so Scott got to play a longer set than he had thought, so he invited our friend Mark Wenthe, from Athens band Dusty Lightswitch to play with him. Mark's an amazing guitarist and he played on the last few songs with Scott adding some nice flavor.

If you're interested, you can download and listen to the show here.

If you're a musician looking for a place to play in the Decatur area, I'd definitely say check out Kavarna. They're great people and the sound in the room is really fantastic. And if you're a fan, this was a great place to listen to live music. They serve up a really interesting variety too.

Eudora June who played after Scott was great. She had a little more of a bluesy feel and I really liked her voice.

So, another week down. A new one beginning. I hope this one proves more productive, lets me have more fun with the kids, and is less tiring. And lets me write more.

Georgia On My Mind

Hey, Georgia Bloggers!

Do you know about the Georgia Bloggers' Carnival? It's hosted and organized each month by Georgia History Teacher on her blog, Georgia On My Mind. Other Georgia Bloggers' sometimes take a stab at hosting the event on their blogs as well. Anyone who lives in Georgia or writes about Georgia is welcome to submit his or her blog to the general blogroll. And if you have a post about something going on in Georgia, Georgia people, places, or fabulous things, you can submit your post to the carnival as well.

I was going to post a cool graphic link, but the HTML is broken and I don't have a clue how to fix it, so...Sorry, y'all! Nothing pretty to look at today. But do go check out all that peachy goodness.

Borrowed Time

A while ago I had mentioned that I wanted to get my life more organized and to have things operate more efficiently. As I am not naturally a systematic thinker, but more a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl, this has been a struggle.

Two and a half years ago, before I got pregnant with Beckett, I began using the FlyLady routines and that helped me tremendously. As I've said before, though, my morning sickness and first trimester exhaustion knocked me off my routines and I just never got back into it.

For the last week or two, I've been using the Messies Anonymous method. It's similar to FlyLady in terms of de-cluttering your home. In fact, I'm not really sure that there's much difference at all. MA really does focus on folks who might be considered chronically disorganized. But two of the philosophies of the group really have clicked with me and seem to be making a difference in making all the housework required to keep this show on the road a bit easier.

The first rule is kind of obvious to those of you who got the neat gene: Stow as you go. Simple, right? I just always thought why stop what you're doing to put things away when you can come back and do it when you're finished with whatever else you're working on. The problem is that there are too many distractions. Later somehow never comes. I've been following this rule and it's making a ton of difference.

The other rule is If it takes less than 30 seconds to do, go ahead and do it. The same logic applies. Later never comes, so you might as well do it now.

These two philosophies along with their mantra of babysteps are really helping me.

Yesterday, I was able to keep our kitchen and living room clean all day without doing anything major to them. I cooked three meatloaves – one for us, one to freeze, and one for a friend who just had a baby – a large pot of green beans, and homemade mashed potatoes, and made cupcakes, and had everything in the dishwasher or cleaned and put away by 7:30. I got both boys in the tub, and although Beckett didn't make it to bed until 9 p.m., Brendan was in his bed by 8:30.

Scott and I were able to hang out and talk while he played Wii and I worked out for the first time in ages.

My big hang up has been that it takes so long to clean up and get the boys in bed after dinner. Scott doesn't get home until after 7 most nights and he's worn out from his day and has work of his own that needs to get done. I have felt like I was worn out and brain dead by the time I would get dinner on the table, fight with Brendan over eating, get the dishes in the sink, get the boys bathed and in bed. Then I would have to come back to the kitchen to clean, by myself, which is a lonely place to be when your husband is upstairs trying to recover from his long day. I hated it, so many nights, I'd just get everything in the sink, put away the leftovers, and leave everything else 'til morning. Then, I'd wake up behind the gun with a dirty kitchen. And so the cycle would continue.

These last several days of waking to a clean, uncluttered kitchen and living room have been wonderful. I feel much more in control and relaxed. On Saturday, when I woke to a sink full of dishes left from preparing food to take to a party Friday night, I felt de-energized and despondent all day.

I hope I can keep up on this path of getting things done. We'll see. I am definitely a convert to taking care of things as you go along instead of letting it pile up. It seems to be making all the difference.

Pictures of You

My creation
Originally uploaded by belleoftheblogATL

This looked like a lot of fun to me, so I am shamelessly stealing this from Rennratt, who stole it from Wordnerd.

The pictures represent the answers to the following questions*:

1. Your Flickr name:
2. One word that describes you:
3. What you love most in life (my picture here is missing one thing):
4. What you want to be when you grow up:
5. Your favorite dessert:
6. Location of your dream vacation:
7. Your favorite drink:
8. Your celebriity crush:
9. Favorite color:
10. What school you attended (I went for high school for some reason):
11. Favorite food:
12. First name:

Okay. So that was really fun! Even though I did things backwards. But give it a go and let me know when you post yours. I'd love to see your answers.

Here's what you do:
Go to Flickr. Search for the answers to the questions. Choose a picture that best reflects your answer. Fave it. Make the mosaic.


*The questions were originally in the reverse order, but when I made my mosaic, they came out in the opposite order, so I reversed the list when I printed it here.

Knowledge is Power: June's Perfect Post

I know. We mommy bloggers write about being referred to as just a mommy and losing our identities ad infinitum.

A., of A., Woman of Independent Means, one of my favorite daily reads, recently wrote one of the most encouraging posts for other moms I've read in a long time.


She wins my vote for June's Perfect Post. You can check out the entire list at Suburban Turmoil or Petroville.

She may not have intended it as such, but for me, at least, it was a wonderful reminder of the ways being a mom has made me smarter and opened my world to things I wouldn't have known about otherwise.

I don't necessarily consider myself an "expert" in many of these, but I have learned an incredible amount of information that I didn't have before I became a parent in each of these subjects:

pregnancy
pregnancy complications
miscarriage
chromosomal abnormalities (specifically Trisomy XX8)
pregnancy nutrition
fertility awareness method
natural childbirth choices
doulas
midwifery
the dangers of modern medicalized childbirth
postpartum depression
breastfeeding
feeding choices
teething
Thomas the Tank Engine
Pokemon
SpiderMan
Marvel Comics
educational choices


There are many more things that I've learned as a mom. Most important of all,though, is experiencing the capacity for the heart to grow ever larger to hold all the love that pours in the instant you hold your tiny newborn for the first time.

Thanks, A., for reminding us that although we may feel like we lose a large chunk of our brains, we're actually learning all the while.

Hey Bulldog!

On Friday evening, UGA VI, the beloved University of Georgia mascot, died. A couple of years ago, I had the great privilege of interviewing UGA's owners, Sonny and Cecelia Seiler, for Atlanta Dog Life magazine.

I'm publishing that story here now in honor of UGA. Even if you're not a college sports fan or a Georgia fan, the story of how the UGA tradition came to be is sweet and endearing.

When Cecelia Gunn met Sonny Seiler during the University of Georgia’s annual “Stunt Night”, the two could never have predicted the impact their meeting would have on the university they both so dearly loved.

Wed on a fall Saturday in 1955 in Columbus, Ga., the Seilers celebrated their nuptials by flying to Florida for the Georgia-Florida football game. “Georgia lost and it nearly ruined the honeymoon,” Cecelia reveals.

A few months later, in April 1956, a family friend of Cecelia’s named Frank Heard called the couple and told them he had a wedding gift for them: a solid white English Bulldog puppy. The Seilers accepted the gift, moving him into their cramped apartment. They named the dog UGA – an acronym for the University of Georgia -- at the suggestion of one of Sonny’s law school friends, Billy Young. Sonny recalls that for many months UGA was a gangly pup. “He looked more like a Boxer than a Bulldog.” However, by fall, he had begun to fill out his frame with the classic Bulldog stockiness.

That September, on a lark, the couple took their young pup with them to a pre-game party at the Sigma Chi house where Sonny had been a member. It was the day of Georgia’s first home game that season. Wearing a child-sized t-shirt with an appliquéd letter “G” that Cecelia had made for him, UGA was the hit of the party. He proved so popular that the Seilers decided to take him to the game. According to Sonny, a few sportswriters saw the dog in the stands and soon photographs of the adorable Bulldog pup with the cute clothes and the perfect name made their way into local papers. And so, a family pet was on his way to becoming one of the most recognized and beloved icons in the history of football.

Fifty years later the tradition set in motion that autumn day proves stronger than ever. A brand new documentary called “Damn Good Dog” celebrates the life and accomplishments of the six Bulldogs named UGA, following the history of the Seiler family and their canine companions. Likenesses of UGA abound, from figurines to wall art, stuffed animals to your basic college sweatshirt. Despite whatever your own college affiliation may be, if you live in Georgia, there’s no escaping the presence -- or impact -- of UGA.

But what is life really like for this family dog turned celebrity mascot? If UGA VI, the current University of Georgia mascot, could talk, he’d probably tell you that life is good and being UGA is a pretty good job…if you can get it.

Each of the six Bulldogs from UGA I through UGAVI has been raised and treated as a family pet, living at the Seilers’ home, napping on the couch, playing with first their children and now their grandchildren. Because the dogs are their pets, the Seilers have always been responsible for their care and upkeep, from food to vet bills. And, as UGA's managers, so to speak, they have also always been responsible for getting him to the games, driving from Savannah to Athens for home games and ensuring he’s available to travel with the team to away games.

The Seilers continued to take UGA to games throughout that first fall. Soon, the university’s Sports Information Director, Dan Magill, became aware of the solid white Bulldog. When the time came to make an official selection of a new mascot, Magill recommended to Athletic Director Wally Butts that UGA receive the job. The fact that UGA was a direct descendant of the team’s Rose Bowl mascot from several years prior helped seal the deal. Sonny Seiler, who worked in the Athletic Department ticket office, recalls being called to Butts’s office. “My first thought was ‘What have I done to get fired?’.” When he actually spoke to Coach Butts, Seiler was relieved to find out Butts simply wanted to ask him his thoughts on having his dog become the football team mascot. “I was honored,” Seiler says humbly.

The Seilers took their commitment to the university seriously. When the time came for them to move back to Savannah at the end of Sonny’s third year of law school, Sonny met with Coach Butts to explain how much UGA meant to their family and to suggest that the family be allowed to keep the dog, with the commitment to be at every game. “Our oldest daughter Swann had come along at that point. So I explained to Coach Butts that this dog had become an integral part of our family. I said, ‘He and my little girl are growing up together and I would like to propose that you let us keep him and I promise I will have him at every game.’ Coach Butts just smiled and said, ‘Sounds like a good idea to me, Sonny.’”

From that point on, a succession of Seiler family pets have served as the University of Georgia mascots, sharing in the triumphs and glories, as well as in the more challenging times. Each dog – hand-picked by Cecelia Seiler from pups born of the same bloodline extending back to UGA I – has had his share of accomplishments. UGA I launched the legacy, earning the epithet “Damn Good Dog” when the crowd spontaneously erupted into that chant at his retirement ceremony. UGA II had the briefest tenure, but enjoyed two SEC titles (1966, 1968). UGA III, who served from 1973 until 1980, seems to have brought the team the most success, with two SEC titles (1975, 1980), a National Championship (1980), and the most victories over ranked opponents (12). UGA IV became the first team mascot to attend the Heisman Trophy awards in 1982, when he flew to New York aboard Delta Airlines along with teammate and eventual winner of the award, Herschel Walker.

Yet, it was UGA V who gained the most notoriety of any of the dogs. Although the UGAs have always been beloved icons within the state, symbolizing the gumption and determination of the school’s Bulldog Spirit, UGA V was cast into the national spotlight the day in 1996 he lunged at Auburn running back Robert Baker. On the final play in the first quarter of the game, Baker scored on a six-yard pass that put Auburn ahead. As Baker ran out of bounds into the end zone, UGA V lunged at the player’s groin, standing on his hind legs and straining to reach Baker. According to Charles Seiler, UGA’s handler and the Seilers’ only son, the dog was merely being playful. To Georgia fans and the nation at large who saw the scene replayed over and over again on ESPN and in photographs printed in countless sports pages, the image of UGA going after an Auburn player represented the relentless spirit with which Georgia takes on one of its fiercest rivals every season. The dog’s popularity soared even further when Sports Illustrated named him “America’s Best College Mascot” in April 1997. His appearance playing his dad, UGA IV, in the Clint Eastwood-directed thriller “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil,” also added to his fame.

Still, each dog has been “treated just like a dog at home,” according to Cecelia. And of course, each family member has had his or her own favorite. Oldest daughter Swann grew up with UGA I and recalls that he followed her everywhere. To her, he was “the most loving of all the UGAs.” Mom Cecelia favored IV for his “perfect” looks while proud papa Sonny says that he does not have a favorite. “I loved them all and miss them all. They’re pets and they’re all very dear to me,” he says.

Over the last fifty years the family has loved and been loved by six truly great dogs, each adding his own unique contributions to the UGA legacy. They have stood beside each dog, loving and nurturing them through health crises, like UGA II’s near-death experience with heatstroke following Picture Day and the battle with leukemia that ultimately took his life. UGA III suffered from dry-eye, a condition common among English Bulldogs, and required surgery to place a saliva gland in his eye for tear production. Charles Seiler recalls, “UGA III would cry whenever he smelled food.”

Thanks to the University of Georgia School of Veterinary Medicine and medical advances, each successive UGA has enjoyed better health. Thanks to the Seilers they, like many modern dogs, enjoy the finest in creature comforts. The last several UGAs have enjoyed the comfort of their own air-conditioned doghouses. UGA VI, the reigning mascot, even rides in ease with his own custom-designed luxury golf cart, thanks to EZ-Go Golf Carts. According to Sonny, UGA recognizes the sound of the cart’s engine and starts barking excitedly, ready to go for a ride.

Sonny Seiler vows that his family will carry on the tradition of raising and caring for the school mascot as long as the university welcomes it. The family receives no compensation for its efforts and donates all royalties from UGA’s activities and endorsements to the University of Georgia. In fact, they even buy their own season tickets to football games. Clearly, this is a family truly committed to its dogs and its alma mater.

Long live the Seilers! Long live these Damn Good Dogs!