So, after writing my earlier post and getting my fears out in the open and out of my system (for the most part), I read this post over on A.'s blog. I'm certainly not as extreme as the parents described in the article, but I definitely have my moments of overparenting as evidenced by, oh, about half the posts on this blog.
Like A., I, too, read every parenting book I could get my hands on and wondered how anyone could not have an opinion on certain parenting issues. I don't really care what anyone's opinion is, necessarily, but I do feel like a certain amount of thoughtfulness should be applied to parenting. Unfortunately, for me, I feel like I went too far, weighing every decision like my child's life (and my reputation as a parent) depended on it.
Having Beckett has definitely mellowed me. I don't have time to weigh each and every choice I make. Sometimes I have to give Brendan cold cereal for breakfast. Sometimes he watches too much t.v. Sometimes he stays up too late. But I'm not beating myself up for those choices any more. I don't even feel like they're mistakes anymore. They are just a few options among many.
As I've said before, most of the parents I know are just trying to do the best job they can. It has taken me a while to get here, and I'm sure I may backslide, but for now at least, I feel like we're doing okay. Brendan may never have taken a single Gymboree or Kindermusik or other class. But he's happy. And he has a fantastic imagination and wickedly funny sense of humor.
Now, if I can control my impulse to project onto my boys the qualities that I admire and which drive me, we may just be okay after all.
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3 comments:
I think that parent's that actually examine their behavior have the battle half won already.
Rock it, sister.
You sound like you are a great mom. I think we have all been there at that point. I thought that I would be the best mom ever, what I didn't figure into the picture was my kids would have their own ideas on how life should run. At this point I feel like I am hanging on to the reigns of three wild horses. (Three puts me so near the edge, it's scary)
Thanks, y'all! It's funny you say that Girl. I thought the same thing...that parenting would just come naturally and that it was my calling. I just had no idea how much work it would be.
The thing is, when I follow my instincts and do what I think is right without questioning myself, it is relatively easy. I just need to stop worrying about what everyone else will think and do what I know in my bones is the right thing to do.
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