Sleepless Nights

Yay for sleep!

It's so underrated and under appreciated by the young and childless and those who just happen to be blessed with little need of it.

I got almost 6 hours of the good stuff last night. Of course, the last two hours were fragmented due to little boys waking up while it was still dark outside and when I was asleep I was having horrible dreams. But, still, it's so much more than I've gotten the last two nights.

Thursday night/Friday morning Brendan had an asthma attack at 4 a.m. after I'd only been asleep for four hours and we never made it back to sleep. Then Friday night, I got a second wind that kept me up talking with Scott until 2 a.m. Both boys were then awake yesterday morning at 5 a.m. and even though I tried to nap yesterday, it was never for more than 15 minutes at a time because I kept getting woken up.

I hate myself when I'm exhausted. I'm crabby. Edgy and dull. Dim witted. Snappish and surly.

I wonder if anyone has ever examined postpartum depression and any resulting abuses as they relate to lack of sleep. I have never physically struck out at my kids and never would, but I know that I certainly have far less patience on days when I don't get enough sleep. And it's on those days that I can see how some parents who have fewer resources and coping skills might totally lose it. I'm not excusing anyone for anything, but when I'm worn out and feeling ill and contrary, I can see how it all just might fall apart in a split second.

Sleep is a miracle drug.

This morning, I feel like a new woman. Rested. Cheerful. Ready for the day.

And looking forward to nap time...for all of us.