Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise: A Southern Belle Turns 40

The months and weeks that led up to my fortieth birthday were packed with my mixed emotions and thoughts that varied from the obvious "I'm getting old" to the trite "You're only as old as you think you are." Neither of which provided much inspiration or comfort as I enter this new and exciting decade of life.

Scott has continued to struggle with all that he has been going through. My efforts to have a killer body before turning 40 got stymied by my own lack of time management, and the holidays. (I am closer, though, which, I guess, is something.) I don't feel I'm where I want to be professionally or as human being. All my goals seem just out of reach.

Yet, before I knew it, January 13, 2010 was upon me. Forty years before Mama Sloan gave birth to me, six weeks early during a snowstorm (at least as my grandmother recalled it) and here I am. Five hundred miles or so away from where I was born. Married with two children of my own and a husband I adore. Who, also, apparently, adores me...

To celebrate my turning forty, Scott and my darling friend Lucy, with some help from our other wonderful friends, threw me an amazing surprise party!

I had no idea it was coming. Scott had told me that he just couldn't plan a big party for me and that my celebration would be a trip to Vegas around my birthday. I was okay with that. I mean, I want to celebrate birthdays with friends and was hoping we could convince some to go to Vegas with us, but wasn't too hopeful since times are tight for everyone. But, I was okay. Vegas is fun and Scott has never been so I was excited about sharing that adventure with him.

So, he effectively tricked me and he and Lucy planned a spectacular and beautiful party just for me. Talk about feeling loved! I could move the stars with all that love!

The party was at Lucy's beautiful home and they invited my closest girlfriends from the neighborhood. The only thing missing was my bestest friend Courtney who lives in Texas. I am sad she wasn't there. I'd always imagined the two of us celebrating all these milestones together. But aside from that fact, everything else was splendid.

White roses. Sparkling crystal. Amazing food. Delicious cocktails. Flowing wine. And lots and lots of laughter.

My friends Laura, Lauren, Jean, Jennifer, Stacey, Tara, Lucy (of course), as well as Scott, Lucy's husband Foley, and Tara's husband Steve, were the guests. Steve and Tara were also our private chefs and they made the most exquisite gourmet meal I have had in my life.

Being a lover of great food, I have my top meals ranked and this one rose to the place of number one almost instantly. It was prepared with such love and such thought to the things I like. Two nights when I thought Scott was working late, he was actually at Steve and Tara's planning the menu. Steve and Tara, who, by the way, is six months prengant with twins, worked hard to source almost exclusively local ingredients, too, which I thought was very special. Here's what we had:

Georgia Coast Shrimp on Gouda Cheese Grits with Fresh Tomato Relish
Frisée lettuce, Pine Street Market bacon, homemade croutons, apple, with a Warm Sherry Vinaigrette
Braised Short Ribs, Celery Root and Potato Purée, Haricots Vert with Shallots, in a Red Wine Truffle Sauce
A Selection of Local Cheeses, Homemade Fig Compote, Candied Kumquats, Local Wildflower Honey, and Fresh Bread
Old-Fashioned Chocalate Cake by Southern Sweets

Seriously. Best. Meal. Ever.

If you need a private chef in the Atlanta area, let me know and I will hook you up!

Lucy has such amazing taste and I know she worked very hard to make the night special. Everything was beautiful. And it was so nice just to relax and enjoy the night, laughing and talking with friends. I didn't have to lift a finger and how often does that happen?

I really couldn't have asked for a lovelier evening and I am grateful to my beloved host and hostess, Scott and Lucy.

Thankful Thursday: Friends in Low Places

The last few weeks have been very challenging, filled with ups and downs and all-arounds. The one thing that I can say has consistently kept me thankful and sane and happy much of the time is knowing that I have girlfriends (and a guy friend here and there) that I can count on. The guys I don't really count on and they're not the same kind of friends as my girls. They're mostly just high school friends who pop up on Facebook with the occasional wiseacre comment here and there, but they're good for a laugh.

My girls, though... I could not live without them. From my best friend Courtney who lives in Texas and has been through...well, roughly the last 20 years or so of my life to the amazing women who live in my neighborhood and go to my church and participate in my playgroup and play Bunco together and share the same routines and rituals of my everyday life, I am blessed to know some kick-ass, hotter than Hell, sage, loving, supportive, funny, talented, crazy, amazing women.

There have been times when I feel like I don't fit in, but I think that's mostly been me, holding back. Fearing that I don't fit in and making it so. When I let go and trust that people will accept me just as I am...potty-mouth, messy house, crazy life, ambitious, slack, flaky, I am often surprised that they do. And that's when they let me see all the messy aspects of their own lives. And that's when things really get interesting.

So, all this then, is what I am thankful for on this rainy, rainy Thursday.

Beautiful Life: When Ordinary Moments Become Extraordinary

I just watched this video by the band Fisher, who Scott and I discovered way, way, way back in the past when music by indie bands on the Internet was a groundbreaking phenomenon. The song and the video are just so joyful they have helped make my Monday.

I had to share it because it feels like an extension or perhaps rather an expression of the golden ball of Happy that I felt in my heart and soul on Saturday night after a perfectly ordinary day spent with Scott and The Boys.

We slept in, which for us means about 8:30. Then we just puttered around the house. I played with the kids a little, fixed breakfast, made a shopping list. Scott did some work. We ate lunch, and then went to the Buford Highway International Farmers' Market so I could pick up some produce for the week and get the things I needed to make a Broccoli Salad to take to a friend's house for dinner that night.

When we got home, we rushed to get ready to go to our friends L. and F.'s for dinner with them and their two darling little boys. And it was the perfect evening of perfectly ordinary pleasures. Margaritas on the patio. Delicious food like bacon-wrapped, cheese-stuffed peppers. Smoked burgers. Broccoli and potato salads. Watching the boys run and tumble and play until they were exhausted, sweaty, sand-covered little messes. It was the kind of night that helps people grow closer and can stay in your heart forever. And what I loved most was that it did seem perfectly ordinary in the sense that these are people who have grown to be our friends slowly and over time to the point that we now have a shared history and I hope a long shared future. It didn't seem like a big deal to be going to their home. It just seemed perfectly natural. The way friendships do over time. And it's a wonderful feeling.

Even after we left, loaded into Scott's car with our leftovers and sweet, sweaty, sandy boys, and half a pitcher of margaritas L. sent home with us, I felt so...Happy. All four of us together, laughing and teasing and joking. I felt like I couldn't stop smiling as I thought, "This is it. This is what my life is and it's amazing and I am so thankful for it."

Sadly, it's a rare thing that a day spent doing not much of anything makes me feel connected and alive and perfectly content the way this past Saturday did. The experience, though, makes me appreciate the wonder of my life that much more and makes me determined to experience that joy in every day if not in every moment.

Like a Virgin

Well, after several months of not blogging, not writing very much of anything that wasn't a marketing brochure or magazine article, I'm back.

Not sure if anyone gives a damn. But I'm back. I want to write for me, about things I care about and I've decided to commit to it.

I've been thinking about it for a while now, missing this part of who I am. This past weekend Scott (my husband, if you're just joining us.) and I were in NYC for a friend's wedding and I had the chance to see several dear friends that I rarely see or talk with anymore. Two of them asked about my blog, and one, Chris, had some really great feedback for me on my writing. I chose to take those interactions as signs that I need to be writing this blog and that I need to focus on the issues of parenting and married life and my passions that are truly near and dear to my heart.

So, now, it's off to a meeting for Kindergarten parents about the Cub Scouts.

See you tomorrow. I promise.