Build Me Up, Buttercup

I was a little surprised by how much the essay by New York Times writer Pamela Druckerman resonated with my friends. Not that what she says isn't essentially true, but rather because it seemed to really strike them as revelatory, where as to me it was covering old ground. That said, while I've known these things, I've only recently reached the point where I was ready to start living some of these truths, including being ready to accept that some people just will not like me and that's okay.

I've worried before that if I admitted to certain likes or dislikes or pursued specific interests there would be some who would mock me or think less of me. But guess what, I've learned...if they're willing to judge me and would mock me for my beliefs, I probably don't agree with their values and shouldn't be friends with them anyway.

So, all of that is to say, some of you may read the rest of this post and think, "God, that woman is a total flake!" Some of you may read it and think I'm overly judgmental or clueless or that I "just don't get it." And that's okay. You can disagree with me. Just respect my right to believe what I believe and I'll do the same for you.

Alright... So with that out of the way, I really wanted to share some information that I feel is making me and my family happier and healthier.

Recently, I was introduced to Young Living Essential Oils by my cousin, Heather. Technically, she's my husband's cousin, but to me she's family and I love her as if she were my own blood. Heather has been using essential oils to help treat her children's asthma for a while and after seeing the success she had, I was intrigued.

Our family experienced some health issues as the result of side effects from a medicine one of us was treated with...side effects never mentioned by the doctor or the pharmacist or listed on any materials associated with the drug. It was very scary and added to my growing distrust in modern medicine. Between doctors getting paid by pharmaceutical companies to prescribe their drugs, the spread of antibiotic-resistant bacteria like MRSA, and the fact that medical mistakes are the third leading cause of death in America (behind #1 heart-disease and #2 cancer), I prefer to have options.

I'm never going to be someone who stops seeing the doctor or doesn't vaccinate her kids. That's just not who I am. I do however believe that there are old home remedies and natural remedies that are just as powerful and far safer than prescription drugs and modern interventions. I've often wished I had my grandmother's recipe for a headache tonic. I remember her using it on me when I began having migraines as a kid and now when I get a migraine, I crave the cool, soothing cloth and smell of camphor that always eased me into a pain-free sleep.

So, for me, essential oils make sense. I was willing to give it a shot and I must say, I'm quite glad I have. I have discovered that I can knock out a sinus infection in under 24 hours without the use of antibiotics and all their nasty side effects. I've also found something I can use to alleviate some of the anxiety and stress my son feels without having to resort to using dangerous drugs with God-only-knows what kinds of long-term effects.

It may or may not be for you, but if you're curious and would like to learn more, I'm happy to share what I've learned or direct you to folks who know even more than me.

Ten Steps to Being a Happier, More Balanced Mommy

I recently watched an episode of The Simpsons with my family. In the episode, Marge reconnects with her "mommy" friends and starts creating a social life for herself outside her family. My favorite part of the episode is animation of Marge's brain, showing the different segments of her life. A very large chunk of her brain is labeled "Repressed Rage," but after just a few moments of hanging out with her friends, that part of her brain is pushed aside by the part labeled "Social Life."

My oldest boy interpreted Marge and the other moms as "hating their kids," because they wanted to spend time with each other and not be with their kids every moment of every day. I explained, of course, that was far from the case and that like me, even those cartoon moms love their kids, however, moms are people, too. I explained that it makes me happy to spend time with my friends or go places by myself and do things I like to do, just like he enjoys playing with his friends and doing the things he finds fun.

It took me the first two years of his life to realize that and start trying to find a sense of balance and sometimes even now, eight years in, I feel like I don't have the full and richly balanced life I want. But I try. I know that if I have things in my life that matter to me besides my kids, things that make me think and breathe and feel and wonder and use skills other than my parenting smarts, I am a happier person. I am woman, wife, lover, friend, cousin, writer, creator, dreamer, and believer. Not just mommy, cleaner of spills and wiper of bottoms, storyteller and consoler. If I model a balanced life for my sons, hopefully they will one day strive to create lives of their own that balance responsibility with their passions.

If you're a new mom or if you've found yourself stuck in the mommy rut, never leaving your house except to grocery shop, never talking about anything other than your kids or to anyone other than your kids, and more or less feeling like you don't know who you are any more, here are a few ideas to help you reconnect with yourself and rebuild a complete life that celebrates your role as mother and allows you to be fully who you are:

1. Spend some quiet time alone each day or as often as you can, doing nothing.

2. Pray or meditate.

3. Learn to say no to your children.

4. Resume a hobby you put aside, like writing, reading for pleasure, painting, playing music, etc.

5. Take a class.

6. If you're married or live with your significant other, let your partner get up with the kids when they awake early or in the night.

7. Turn off the Laurie Berkner and listen to music you love. (Watch the lyrics, though!)

8. Plan at least one night alone with your partner each week or bi-weekly at the very least. (If you can't afford a sitter, trade with friends. Or put the kids to bed early and have hubby pick up some take out. Turn off the t.v., put on your favorite music, and just talk.) If you're single, plan a night out with a friend or friends once a week or so to unwind and be with other adults (besides your co-workers!).

9. Read. Books. Magazines. Online newspapers. Let yourself be informed and entertained and feel like you know about something other than Sesame Street or Yo Gabba Gabba.

10. Exercise. Whether it's a walk around the block, a Stroller Strides class, Zumba, training for a marathon, or lifting weights, find a fitness routine that helps you burn off frustsration and do something good for yourself.

And always remember to be kind  to yourself. Parenting is hard work and whether you're a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home, there are few breaks from it, at least until your kids start school and that requires a different kind and level of mental energy. Just remember the person you were before having kids and know she's still in there and all the better for being a mommy.

Enjoy Applebee's New Unbelievable Under 550 Calorie Entrées for Free

As with most moms, finding ways to eat healthier and squeeze workouts into my life are priorities for me. My mom died of a heart attack at just 59 years old. Not the path I want to follow since I want to be around, strong and healthy for my boys as long as I can be.


Of course, being someone who loves food and who loves to dine out, it can be tricky to find healthy options, especially at chain restaurants, where creative, healthful choices take a backseat to large portions and high-fat, low-cost alternatives.


Applebee's may be changing that with the relaunch of their "Unbelievably Great Tasting and Under 550 Calories" menu. On Monday, I had the chance to try all of these entreés and their new SkinnyBee® Cocktails.

Let me preface this review by saying that I never eat at chain restaurants except fast food. Just not a fan of homogenized cuisine. That said, I would definitely go to Applebee's specifically to get one of these new healthy, low-calorie options.


The new entreés are:


• Grilled Dijon Chicken and Portobello
• Signature Sirloin with Garlic Herb Shrimp
• Asiago Peppercorn Steak
• Teriyaki Shrimp Pasta
• Teriyaki Chicken Pasta
• Grilled Shrimp and Island Rice


The first three items listed are served with steamed veg and creamy herb potatoes. Every one of the dishes was flavorful and very filling. Calories are controlled via portion size and by using Pam to cook with instead of oil or butter.

Although each of the bloggers in attendance was given a quarter of each dish to sample and there were only six items to try, we were all stuffed. By our calculations, we still stayed under 550 calories total for the lunch.... Surprising given how tasty these items were.


I'm actually hard-pressed to choose a favorite. The Grilled Dijon Chicken and Portobello was fantastic. Moist. A great dijon flavor. I loved the steamed veggies and potatoes on the side. The veggies had a great flavor and were still crisp while the potatoes were creamy and satisfying in a "comfort food" kind of way that is lost when dieting.


But then, I had the Asiago Peppercorn Steak. I don't love red meat. But the steak was moist and seasoned very simply. The asiago provided just a hint of tang and creaminess that was just right with the simple flavor of the steak.


Still, the shrimp dishes! They had me at hello! The Teriyaki Shrimp Pasta had an incredible flavor. It's made with low-sodium soy sauce, is filled with a huge variety of great filling vegetables like bok choy, red peppers, broccoli, water chestnuts, and sugar snap peas. Those are topped with 14 shrimp and all of that is atop a mound of whole wheat angel hair pasta. Kind of a weird combination and I could have lived without the pasta, frankly. There wasn't quite enough of the teriyaki sauce to cover the pasta, so it was a bit dry, but the flavor was fantastic and when you're trying to eat healthy and lose weight, you can't go wrong with all those vegetables! This dish also comes in a version with grilled chicken instead of shrimp and it was equally tasty. The chicken had a good char on it from the grill which was nice.

When it comes down to it, if I have to choose a favorite, it would have to be the Grilled Shrimp and Island rice. It was like a tropical vacation for my mouth.


The shrimp are basted in a Southern-style BBQ sauce then covered in spicy dry rub. Damn! It was good. The intricate spiciness of the shrimp is perfectly offset by the "Island" rice, which was white rice (brown would have been a healthier choice, I agree) tossed with bits of orange and pineapple. This also came with steamed veggies which were excellent. The one thing I hated about this dish, though, is that the shrimp have their tails on and it's hard to eat them when they're covered in BBQ sauce. Just plain messy, but the taste was worth it.

The only new menu item that I wasn't crazy about was the Signature Sirloin with Garlic Herb Shrimp. And even that was good. It's a tender 7 oz. sirloin with bruschetta style sauce topped with 7 shrimp in their own creamy herb sauce. Again, excellent flavor and so hard to believe that this particular entrée is under 550 calories. In fact, while I can't access the nutritional info at this moment, I believe this dish was under 500 calories.


So, what didn't I love about it? It has almonds as part of the bruschetta sauce and I wasn't crazy about the texture that created. I like nuts, but they didn't work for me in this dish. Other than that, it was great.


Now... How about a drink? Usually calorie conscious drinkers are forced to stick with basics like white wine, light beer, or maybe a vodka and soda. No more, my friends. At least not if you're at Applebee's where you can try one of their new SkinnyBee cocktails. You can choose among margaritas, mojitos, or their Long Island Tea. While each drink is made with premium spirits, calories are saved by using sugar-free syrups and diet sodas to complete each drink.

I sampled all three and was most impressed with the LIT. I know? How '80s is that? But it was the one that tasted the most like it's sugary, high-calorie Doppelganger.


So, just how many calories do you save by drinking a SkinnyBee cocktail instead of a regular drink? With each drink well below 150 calories, a lot. A typical margarita can have between 300 and 600 calories depending on the mix and pour of liquor included while the SkinnyBee margarita made with Hornitos tequila checks in at 100 calories. The typical Long Island Iced Tea has around 500 calories, while the SkinnyBee version has just 110 and the SkinnyBee mojito is just... wait for it... 90 calories, a savings of around 110 calories compared to the full sugar version.


Not convinced just how good and good for you Applebee's new menu items are? Well, you can find out for yourself by winning a gift certificate good for one of the new "Unbelievably Great Tasting and Under 550 Calories" menu items courtesy of Applebee's Atlanta.


Here's how to win:


1. Add a comment below to tell us how you plan to stay healthy in the new year.  Diet, exercise, meditation? A little of this and a little of that? I'd love to know your best tips for staying fit. Also include which of Applebee's new menu items you're looking forward to trying. (Steps 1 and 2 are musts for entry. For additional entries, see steps 3 and 4.)


2. Post a link to this blog post on your blog.


3. For an extra entry into the contest, Tweet this post or add a link to your Facebook while. When you're done, include the links to your tweet and FB post in your comment. 


4. If you're not a Follower of Belle of the Blog already, follow me and let me know in your comment and you'll get one more entry.


The winner will be chosen at random.


The contest opens now and will close at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, February 4th. Good luck!