Night People

In the immortal words of Muttley, Rattzle-frattzle-fuzzle....!!

Today was another of those days that leaves me feeling like I accomplished little and was pulled and tugged in ten different directions all at the same time.

Brendan's on spring break and we had some fun just playing this morning. But over the last few days I feel I've spent an inordinate amount of time scolding and correcting him, yelling in frustration. Beckett has also pushed all my buttons. He's a climber and suddenly every moment he's awake is spent telling him no and getting him out of trouble. He bursts into tears every time I correct him and I feel like a heel.

Of course, it's 4:35 a.m. and I've been awake since 2:00 a.m. when Brendan came into our room for the 1000th night in a row it seems. I love my child, but it is so annoying to be woken every night by someone getting in your bed. In all honesty, many nights I don't even wake up, so he thinks it's okay. When he does wake me, it's annoying. He whines, sniffles, complains about some pain or thing that's keeping him awake...any excuse to be in our bed.

Beckett's teething, so he's waking up as well right now. They were both awake at the same time. Brendan's actually having allergy problems and I've had to give him his inhaler twice and change his sheets because he coughed so hard he threw up.

Everyone's finally back in bed and asleep, except me.

I guess I should use the time to figure out how Scott and I can celebrate our anniversary tonight.

I've been depressed all day because I used to have the time, freedom, and energy to focus on my husband, to celebrate our love and spend time thinking of ways to show him that I loved him.

Oh! The Joys!

A Change is Gonna Come

Semi-Charmed Wife performed the following exercise and I was hooked immediately.

Scott always teases me about being born on The Day of Upward Mobility. What that means for me is that I always want to improve myself, make myself a better person.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how I hold myself back. How I'm becoming the woman I want to be, but not as quickly as I'd like.

Perhaps this exercise will help me build some momentum. Below are my responses to the questions asked:


From How to Break Bad Habits_Written by Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS

Write down 3 excuses you are using to avoid making the changes you need to succeed:

1. I DON’T HAVE TIME. I’m so busy chasing the boys around, trying to find work, working, cleaning or cooking, blogging, etc. I always feel like I’m in a rush and I never take the time to get organized, write things down, make a plan, or set goals.
2. I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I simply don’t believe in my own abilities to achieve what I want to accomplish, whether it’s a staff writing job at a major magazine or having rock-hard abs.
3. I’M TOO TIRED. At the end of the day, I just want to spend time with Scott and relax. I’m mentally worn out by taking care of other people. In the morning, I have a hard time getting up and getting going because I always feel like I didn’t get enough sleep because often I didn’t.

How have these excuses affected your life? What have the excuses stopped you from achieving? Write down 3 very important things that you have missed out on because you’ve allowed yourself to make excuses._

1. I haven’t established myself as a writer to the point that I don’t have to look for work and I feel I haven’t written anything important.
2. I don’t like my body and feel unattractive because I haven’t/don’t work out consistently.
3. I don’t spend time just having fun with my kids because I’m so disorganized I always feel like I’m behind the gun on getting things done.

Now how do you feel when you fall victim to one of your self-sabotaging excuses?

Like an idiot. Like a really huge failure who doesn’t measure up to all the successful and accomplished women around her.

What benefits do you get from the excuse? Is it simply that you get to remain in your comfort zone? Or is it the fear of the unknown that is holding you back? Write down 3 ways you benefit from making excuses._

1. Part of it is comfort. Part of it is fear and just not knowing where to start. I feel overwhelmed. I don’t know how to be organized because I never have been, so it’s hard to force myself to change in that way. Even though I want to.
2. I don’t have to face the fact that maybe I’m just a fat girl who will always be squidgy in the middle and look like crap no matter how hard I try.
3. If I never get around to sending my queries to major magazines, I never have to hear them tell me I suck as a writer. So, I guess I get to avoid feeling like a total loser.

So now we both know why we’ve created our excuses - to avoid something. All we need to do now is find a way to overcome these bad habits. I want you to write down 3 behaviors you want to stop._

1. Putting off doing the hard work – getting organized, setting a plan, doing what I need to do.
2. Skipping work outs and simultaneously not believing in my ability to accomplish the goals of working out.
3. Eating junk.

Now write down why you end up doing it…were you bored, fearful,lazy, etc._

1. Lazy. Sometimes, I’m just plain lazy. I’d rather read or blog or do anything but the things I need to do.
2. I skip workouts because I have a lot on my plate and it’s easy to put other things ahead of myself. I fail to make myself, my health, and my happiness priorities.
3. I eat junk because it’s easy. It tastes good. It’s there. And I hate feeling deprived. My sweet tooth just gets the better of me sometimes.

Now give yourself the permission to change. Envision the rewards you will get when you make the change to your life and habits. Give yourself a powerful list of reasons for fixing the habit._

1. If I get and stay organized, I will ultimately have more time because I will stop wasting time looking for things, trying to remember things, and getting started on projects.
2. If I work out and get myself in shape, I will have more energy for my kids, and I will feel happy and confident about my appearance.
3. If I take charge of my life and pursue my dreams I can always live my life knowing I gave it my best shot and wasn’t afraid of taking a chance. That, if nothing else is a fine example to give my sons.

Working on bad habits everyday will give you an incredible boost in self-esteem and confidence. With each small successful improvement you’ll build confidence to take on the bigger, badder habits that are holding you back.

Sorry

I apologize for including you all in my anger.

I realize that the things I wrote in my previous e-mail were neither kind nor compassionate.

I am sure the couple who run that store are just doing the best they can to make a living and while I do not appreciate the lack of respect and kindness they exhibited toward me and my children, it doesn't make it right (nor is it particularly useful) to aim such ire and venom toward them.

I imagine that to them any incident that damages an item and reduces their profit is taking away from their livelihood. For whatever reasons, they do not seem to understand or appreciate the norms of etiquette and respect shop owners typically show their clientele.

My apologies. I hate being unkind and sadly I let my anger get the better of me.

Mean Mr. Mustard

This is an open letter to Bena Patel and his wife, owners of Bena's Hallmark in Tucker, Georgia:

Get over yourselves and treat your customers with respect.

Seriously.

You have pissed me off for the last time and maybe it makes me a horrible person, but I will do everything in my power to convince folks not to shop in your store because you and your wife are so very rude.

The first time you pulled your shit, I swore I'd never sit foot in your store again. Sadly, your store is really the only convenient gift shop and card shop in the town if I don't want to go out of my way or go to a store like Target.

When my son was two, we came into your store just before Christmas, hoping to find a cute Christmas ornament to mark the first Christmas when he knew what was going on. He got so excited at seeing all the ornaments and chose one...a $15 firetruck with Santa on top. He was delighted and so was I.

Until you came over and yelled at a two-year old little boy and told him not to touch anything. Not to touch any of the non-breakable ornaments.

Jackass!

I left, embarrassed and in tears with my child in tears, because you yelled at us in front of a store full of other shoppers. When my child was doing nothing that could have damaged your inventory in any way.

So...I held onto my anger for a while, but when necessity dictated that I needed to return to your store a year or two later hoping to find some charming little something for my mother-in-law, I decided to forgive you. You were having a bad day. Maybe some less attentive mom had just let her child run hogwild in the store and you got a bad impression of all parents and children.

My next visit went smoothly, although I honestly don't remember if I had my son with me or not.

Yesterday, my son, excited about his new Crocs wanted to get those little trinkets that go on them. Yours being the only store in our neighborhood that sells Crocs, I saw no other option for finding them, and since you're right next door to the grocery I needed to visit, I thought we'd just pop in and pick up what we needed and it would be a fun and pleasant excursion.

Nope. Sorry. Your wife ruined it.

She locked in on us the moment we strolled through the front door and locked in on us like we were common criminals dressed in jailbird stripes, ready to pilfer and plunder the entire fucking store.

She followed us up and down every aisle, never asking us if we needed help, but telling me instead not to let my 15-month old little boy to touch the fucking Webkins.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Don't let a child touch the fucking toys you have in there to sell to children? Did you ever stop to fucking think that I might buy one? In fact, as soon as I saw that you had Webkins, I thought I would buy one, but you eliminated that chance with your stingy, grubbing, overzealous desire to make sure a child doesn't break anything in your store.

I cannot believe your store is still open!

If I hadn't been excited for my son who so wanted to buy those stupid pins for his shoes, I would have been out of there.

I guarantee you this, I will never set foot in your store again and I will let everyone I know not to go in there either.

Jerks!

Sincerely,

Me

Little Acorns

I just have a boatload of randomness to throw at you today. Watch out! Here it comes!

So, first, I went to the weirdest playdate ever. Weird only because my friend left Beckett and I alone for almost an hour while she went into another room and nursed her baby. After she'd given him lunch. Then, she immediately put him down for a nap. She's nursed in front of me before and I, in front of her. I just found it a little weird. Especially when she picked the time for us to come over. I know the real point of it all was for us to hang out, but we ended up only spending about 30 or 40 min. talking while we ate lunch.

Next...

Beckett loves music and this makes me very happy. Right now he's dancing to Black Water by The Doobie Brothers. Earlier he was throwing down to some Justin Timberlake and Usher, though. It's not uncommon for him to go get his dad's harmonica and take it to him and stomp his feet and complain until Scott plays. When he wants Scott to play guitar, Beckett sits on the floor by the guitar or guitar case and slaps it while staring at his dad.

In other news, Brendan got his first pair of Crocs today. You should know I hate and am morally opposed to Crocs. I'm just not a fan of crap-tacular trends. Especially those involving really expensive plastic footwear that comes in obnoxious colors. I just cannot justify $30 for plastic shoes. In obnoxious colors. With holes in them. (Boy! Do I ever sound like a mom!) However, I snuck a shopping trip into Tuesday Morning today to look for barware for our new rec room bar and found them there. In his size. In grey. For $7.

Since the boy has been asking for them for months since all the other kids in Pre-K have them, I decided I woudl surprise him with them. Of course, it meant we had to go buy those little pins all the kids wear on them after school. Those cost more than the shoes, but I still spent less than a pair of Crocs usually costs.

Speaking of Brendan... When he walks into his classroom each morning, it reminds me of when Norm walks into Cheers. Does my son have a career as a barfly ahead of him? I don't know, but each morning when he walks into class, he is greeted with everyone cheerfully shouting, Brendan! Then several of the kids run to embrace him. And always, his friend Kush is leading the charge, followed closely by a little girl named Chloe. It's very cute. HIs teacher told me that he's the only one who gets that greeting and I really don't know what to make of it. But, it's very sweet.

Let's see...What else?

I guess there's not much else going on...I've booked some new shows for Scott. I'm doing a little work for a real estate client. Not finding enough time to work out and hating my body. But that's not news, just par for the course.

Alright. Time to cook a little dinner.

Hope everyone else is happy and healthy.

Handle with Care: March Perfect Posts

I haven't participated in Suburban Turmoil / Petroville's Perfect Post Awards in awhile. This post from Wendy and Jason's Excellent Adventure really moved me.

First, I thought it was a beautiful and loving tribute to a woman who obviously played a very important role in Wendy's life, who had a tremendous amount of love for Wendy and her family, and who probably, in many ways, shaped the woman Wendy is today. I'm sure there are many people who take their earliest caregivers for granted and don't pause to consider the many ways they have been shaped and informed by these women (and men) who loved and cared for them day in and day out.

More than this though, I think Wendy offers a heartfelt example that illustrates how important the love and affection of other family members and caretakers can be to our children. I think that for the most part our children know that we love them and intuitively understand that it's our job to love them. But to have another adult who doesn't have to love them actually care about them, show them love and compassion and empathy, shapes them and informs them and helps them become better, more loving, more compassionate individuals.

I know that it's difficult for working parents to leave their young ones and to feel they are missing out on all the milestones and day-to-day changes and development. It's easy to grow jealous of our children's nannies or grandmothers or other caretakers and as a result to push them out of our lives and our children's lives. And I know that as I write this, I have not experienced this on the level that many of you working moms have. My experience with this is subtle...seeing my own children enjoy their grandmother who spoils and coddles and doesn't discipline them and who scolds me for disciplining them more than they seem to enjoy me at times.

But, I tell myself that they need that. They need her and her love for them in addition to the motherly love that only I can give them.

Wendy's post, I believe, perfectly captures and illustrates how important the kind of love a caretaker has for her wee charges can be...how powerful and everlasting an impression it makes; that chosen wisely, your child's sitter or care provider, can enhance the relationship you have with your child and leave a lasting aura of love and affection that surrounds them the rest of their life.

Language

Each new word a child says brings such joy, excitement, and pride to the parents. Each crude or perfect sound with decipherable meaning opens wider the door through which you and your child communicate. It's beautiful.

Beckett has been saying a couple of the basics for a while now...Mama, Daddy, Budder (Brother), ball. Yesterday he added a new one...dog. And used it in a new way that was contextually appropriate.

In our hall bath, I have a metal canister to hold the extra toilet paper and Beckett loves to carry it around and take the lid off. So, he wanders in there, picks it up, looks at me and says, dog plain as day, and then proceeds to go find his stuffed dog and sit down and start playing.

Later, I was trying to get him into the kitchen to eat his lunch, but he refused to come, preferring instead to stand in our foyer, pointing into the living room, jabbering away. Finally, he looks at me, still pointing in the living room, and says dog. Looking to where he was pointing, I see our dog Cooper standing outside on the deck looking in the French doors, ready to come back inside.

I just love this phase of a child's development, when they learn so much and each day is so full of surprises...for the child and the parent. It's just delightful.

Dark Was the Night

Tonight we participated in Earth Hour.

Starting at 8 p.m., we turned off all the lights and electronics in the house, lit candles, and hung out. Scott played guitar and sang a lot of his old songs that he doesn't play that often. Brendan went to bed with a battery-powered lantern that he had gotten for Christmas from an aunt and only came downstairs once after going to bed. He was very willing to go along with the flow and didn't complain or question what we were doing.

It was cool.

It was definitely a motivator to think about all the ways we can conserve energy and I was thinking it would be cool to do this at least once a week.

I only glanced out once or twice and couldn't really tell how many houses on our street were participating. I think at least one or two were. Hopefully more.

If nothing else it was a good opportunity to teach Brendan about being a good citizen of the Earth.

Human

Are you the perfect mom? Or dad?

I know. It's an utterly ridiculous concept. 'Cause guess what? No one is perfect. God even said so.

Yet parents today, especially mothers, face intense pressure to live up to ever-mounting standards that become increasingly impossible to achieve.

Of course, it depends on which camp you're in as to which set of standards you should follow. Maybe you're a follower of Dr. Sears and believe in Attachment Parenting. To you the ideal mom breastfeeds exclusively until the child self-weans even if he or she is five, co-sleeps, wears her child in a sling, and is never out of the child's sight.

Or maybe you're a Ferberite or Baby Wisefollower and believe your baby should be on a schedule, sleeping in her own crib and through the night by the time she's three-months old.

Maybe your best friend has her toddler signed up for every class from Kindermusic to Gymboree, but you question how much an 18-month old can really absorb. Or maybe you don't have the $100 extra the classes cost because you gave up the job that would have allowed you to pay for the classes so you could be at home with your child on a full-time basis.

Oh! And there it is...the mother of all I'm a better parent than you arguments: Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home Mom.

Are you getting it now?

You know it. I know it. None of us are perfect. We're all just doing the best we can to be the best parents we can be for our kids. Making the choices that we think are right. But our choices don't make us perfect and if we make a few mistakes here and there, that doesn't mean we're not good parents. It means we're human.

Choosing to be self-righteous about our personal choices when it comes to parenting doesn't make us perfect. Far from it, in fact. If we convey that attitude to our children we're simply doing them the injustice of teaching them to be judgmental rather than looking at their peers or others through the eyes of love and compassion.

As parents, I think we're all better off if we see other parents as we hope to be seen: as parents who love their children and want the best for them and who weigh every decision we make, hoping we're doing the right things to keep our kids healthy, reasonably happy, and to promote their overall well-being.

I've been torturing myself and my poor husband for weeks now trying to decide if we should enter our neighborhood school's lottery for the magnet Kindergarten class. If Brendan got into the class it would mean he has French lessons every day plus an intensified math and science curriculum. It would also mean that he is stuck with the same 20 or so kids until he goes to high school. Which I kind of think...sucks. But it's possible the academic advantages outweigh the social implications. But I don't know.

If he doesn't join (or get in – it is a lottery!) the magnet class, he can always be tested for the school's gifted class. And then, there's the possibility that academics just aren't his bag. Who knows? He's 5.

Yet, this decision has been weighing on me for weeks. As if the choice I make regarding his Kindergarten class will impact his academic and social status for the rest of his life.

I also have been feeling some (self-inflicted) pressure as I see the looks on all the faces of the parents who know without a doubt they want their wee ones in the magnet class. When I've said I'm uncertain as to whether or not I want Brendan in the class, they look at me as if I've sprouted an extra head. I imagine they think I'm not too bright and that I don't value academics. But as a natural-born geek who was always known as the smart kid I have to admit, I want more for my kid. I'd rather he be the popular kid. Or really to be both. But that's not always realistic.

It's only after spending many wasted hours reflecting on all of this that I decided that I don't care what the other moms think of me. I'm doing the best I can and if I decide that the social limitations of being in the magnet class are a deterrent to my child's overall development and that outweighs whatever academic advantage he would gain by having a little extra math and science, that's my decision to make in concert with my husband. And it doesn't make me – or you – a bad mom if we don't follow a particular crowd.

Tell Me When

Hey, Folks!

I wanted to remind you or let you know, as the case may be, that Scott will be playing this Thursday night, March 27, at 1Five0, 1000 Marietta Street, in Atlanta. That's near the intersection of Howell Mill Road.

Scott will be opening for The Lizardmen.

For those long-time Atlanta residents, you'll recognize the name Leslie Fram, formerly of The Morning X on 99.7. Leslie and her husband Lanny West are the owners of 1Five0.

The show is a benefit for Atlanta Pet Rescue, a no-kill shelter and costs $5. There will be free pizza, PBR, and popcorn.

Hope you'll all come out to support great local music and Atlanta's homeless pets.

See you there!

Happy

What a busy weekend we had around here!

On Friday, our friend J. and his son, E., who were passing through Atlanta on their way to visit an ailing grandparent, stopped by for a visit. They went with Beckett and me to my MOMS Club Easter egg hunt and we all had a great time.

After visiting with their family in another town that afternoon, J. and E., came back to spend the night with us. More friends came over and we ended up going out to buy curtains for our basement and installing them that night. Brendan and E. played amazingly well together, with baby brother Beckett tagging along as best he could, and had a wonderful time. We all ate pizza and laughed and talked and had a wonderfully relaxing night.

On Saturday morning, we had Brendan's soccer game at 9 a.m. and J. and E. came along with us to that. Brendan's team lost, but he played really well and had fun.

After the game, we all relaxed back at the ranch, had some lunch, then J. and E. headed up to J.'s in-laws house to meet his wife and daughter for the rest of Easter weekend. Scott, Brendan, Beckett, and I hung out at home, watching the Duke game (boo-hoo! I am very sad the team lost because they seem like a great group of kids.) and packing for our Easter trip to Montgomery. After the game we hit the road and got there in time for dinner. We were all so exhausted though, that within, 2 1/2 hours of getting there, we all fell asleep.

I was up at 5:30 on Sunday though, getting my Easter Bunny groove on, stuffing the baskets I bought last year at 70% off the markdown price (making the baskets that were originally $10 each, just $1.50 each!). By 6:30, I had stuffed both baskets, made a pot of coffee, put together a casserole for later in the day, and laid out both boys' Easter attire. And for once, we were all dressed and in the pew before Easter services began.

After church, we all headed over to Scott's brothers for a wonderful Easter dinner and egg hunt. The kids had fun. I enjoyed being with our family and just felt really close to both my sisters-in-law and all the kids. It was a really great day, I thought!

We were home by 8:30 p.m. with happy boys and leftovers for dinner. Brendan grew up it seemed and cheerfully offered to help Scott unpack the car. He ate well the whole weekend (a big concern for me is his poor appetite and picky palate).

He went to bed without a fuss and the weekend ended with all of us tired, but reasonably content.

Life Without a Cage

Beckett is at that age.

You know the one. The one where you turn your back for an instant and your newly toddling toddler has scaled the refrigerator and is standing atop it, hand in the cookie jar, and a huge grin on his face? Yeah...that's the one.

On Monday, when I was out shopping, I sat him on the counter as I fumbled in my wallet for my debit card. The salesperson told me I couldn't do that because if he fell, the store would be liable for his injuries. So, I put him on the floor beside me, his favorite stuffed doggy in hand. A moment later, I realized that he had toddled over to a shelf, picked up a teddy bear, and was running out the door of the store and into the parking lot! This, of course, came on the heels of the knife incident on Saturday, and mere moments, after I sat him on a bench outside the same store to answer my phone, and had him try to climb over the back of the bench.

Later i, I was talking to a friend at Brendan's soccer practice. She told me about her sister who has five sons. They're all grown now, or at least in high school, and thankfully, all still alive. But she said that when the second oldest of the boys was around 7, her sister went into his room to check on him and could not find him. She tore the house apart looking for him and finally found him on a shelf in the top of his closet, sound asleep.

Those of you who don't have sons are probably sitting there, mouths agape, wondering how that could happen.

Those of you who have sons are laughing knowingly.

Yesterday, after Beckett had unplugged the dock for Scott's iPhone and took off across the room, iPhone in one hand, toy microphone stand in the other, laughing gleefully, in frustrated jest, I declared, I need to put that child in a cage just to get anything done around here!

Brendan, who put me through the wringer himself at the same age, agreed. Then earnestly asked, Do we even have a cage?

Only the sibling of a 15-month old brother could agree that caging the beast is the best course of action.

Walk Like an Egyptian

Sunday night I was cuddling with Brendan in his bed and we were watching a Blue's Clues video called Blue's Room World Traveller.

In the video, Blue and her brother Sprinkles travel to three different countries/continents/environments looking for magic keys. One of the places they visit is Egypt.

Brendan says, Mommy, I think Egypt looks cool. And I said, Yeah. So do I. Egypt is one of the places Mommy has always wanted to visit. Maybe I'll take you there some day.

There was a long pause as he thought about this. Then he said, I'll need my sandals. Trying not to laugh, because of course, he's right, I asked what else he would pack.

I'd need my sandals. And I would need water. And my sunglasses....And my moose.

His moose is a small, plush moose his step-grandmother brought back to him from a trip to Vancouver and lately he carries it everywhere.

I'm curious now to know what he'll plan to take on other trips. He also wants to go to Scotland, so next time I have the chance I think we'll plan for that trip, too.

Flow

I have a short list of things I want to accomplish this week and I can't seem to focus on it.

I spent a good portion...okay...ALL of yesterday running around doing errands. By the time I got showered and dressed and out the door with Beckett yesterday it was almost 11 a.m. We went to Big Lots looking for Easter eggs for Brendan's class egg hunt today; found storage baskets for our new basement playroom that we painted on Sunday; drove to another part of town and picked up some stuff I had ordered last week; shipped a package and faxed a form; ate lunch; came home and collected all our books and videos that were due at the library; picked up Brendan from school; went to the library; went to Target; came home. By then it was 4 p.m. The boys played while I cooked their dinner and wrapped a present.

We had a babysitter come at 6 p.m. I put both Beckett and Brendan in bed around 7 p.m. and then Scott and I went out to dinner with our friend Barrett to celebrate her birthday. We went to an amazing restaurant. It was definitely an adventure. We were home by 9:30.

Brendan awoke around 1 a.m. coughing and ended up in our bed. But then Scott wasn't able to sleep and we ended up talking until 3, I think. Then, Brendan woke up again around 5 a.m. coughing and I moved him back into his room, gave him his inhaler again, and tried to sleep in his room but he kept stealing the covers and complaining that his legs hurt. I tried massaging them, but then Beckett woke up. I got him settled back down and then it was almost 6 a.m. so I moved Brendan and myself to the living room, put on Cartoon Network and made a pot of coffee. I dozed off and on while reading all of YOUR blogs until it was time to dress Brendan for school. Needless to say, we were late.

I have an article due next Monday and I need to follow up with two other potential clients.

I also want to put our rec room/playroom back together now that the paint is dry because that is also where I have created an office space for myself and I'd like to work down there.

And did I mention that my ear still hurts? And I still can't hear? It's driving me nuts! I am so ready to pull a Van Gogh or something similar. I'm definitely calling the doctor today about both myself and Brendan. I was hoping to avoid this since I have spent about $300 in co-pays for myself and my children this month. Of course, I'm thankful that's all it was. I am extremely grateful that we have insurance. That said, we don't have the hospital bill yet. It's possible insurance didn't cover some portion of it.

Enough rambling. On with the show...

You Don't Have to Live Like a Refugee

If you have never checked out Blogger's monthly Blogs of Note, you should. There are always some beautiful gems among them.

This month I found one that is, perhaps, the most moving blog (it's actually a collection of material from other blogs that are all part of a real-world and virtual community) I've ever read.

Here's a link...Unseen Dharamsala. Check it out!

Track 300

So, here we are...I'm writing and you're now reading, my 300th blog entry. Technically, if you count the blog posts I've written and deleted for fear of offending someone or all the brainy and thoughtful insight I've had while driving or taking a shower that has never made it from my mind to the keyboard to the screen, there are probably a few hundred more. But, let's focus on what has come to fruition here on this little blog.

I first attempted to start writing here in 2002, but couldn't commit to the daily routine of it. I got serious about it in 2005. From the fall of that year, it took me two years to write 200 blog entries. I did that sometime this past fall. Of course, it's one of the entries I deleted because, although I didn't intend for it to be offensive, apparently, I was inconsiderate and hurt a friend's feelings with it and felt like an idiot for not realizing the power of my words. So....anyway, since October, I've written 100 blog posts.

It's kind of hard to believe. I know there are folks who write 365 or more posts a year. And I truly admire them, their commitment, and their prolific gifts.

But that ain't me, Babe.

Oh, I wish it were. How I would love to have this time each day to thoughtfully consider what's going on in my world, both the parts close at hand, and the world at large. The problem is, I get too busy living to always take the time to record and share the actual experiences of living or to share my (unrequested) opinions on all this crazy world has to offer.

I've wondered if it's worth it to keep writing here when I don't post everyday. When I feel like I'm not really saying anything important or useful for others. But, it makes me happy. And when you can choose to something that makes yourself happy without causing any harm to anyone else, why not? It's a cliche, but it wouldn't be if it weren't true...Life really is too short not to let yourself be happy once in a while.

So, grab a cup of coffee and stay for a while. I'll be back with more crazy mommy stories, more funny kid stories, more proud wife and mama stories. And of course, more bitching and moaning because I know you all can't get enough of that. Ha!

Par for the Course

I just thought I should add a quick update.

Beckett seems to be running at about 98%. He seems fine except for the runny nose. He's going about 90 miles a minute, into everything. Yesterday he scared the bejeezus out of us. Thankfully, Brendan is an exceptionally good brother and a tattletale who knows when to call in the big guns by declaring, It's an EMERGENCY!

So, what happened, you ask? Good Lord! Beckett figured out how to open the dishwasher by bouncing against the door until it falls open. So, he did this while I was upstairs, and took out a giant carving knife. And carried it from the kitchen to the living room, which involves coming down a step. A step he had fallen down earlier in the day.

When Brendan called me to come, I thought the emergency might be that Beckett was spilling juice, his new favorite activity. But something in the tone made me run downstairs. I'm feeling like a bad mom even though they were only alone a few minutes. It just never occurred to me that he'd open the dishwasher.

Brendan managed to be our hero in spite of still feeling sick. I had to pick him up early from school Friday because he was not feeling well. I'm really worried since he has been sick for two weeks now.

My ear infection is only marginally better. It doesn't hurt constantly, just some of the time. But I still can't hear and it feels like I have a carrot or a sock or rocks or something stuffed inside. Still, I didn't let the fact that I'm taking three medicines (my kitchen countertop looks like an old lady lives here!) stop me from going to a birthday party for three of my girlfriends. It was a very low-key cocktail party at one of the girls' homes, but it was the first time I'd been out around adults who weren't doctors and nurses in over a week. it was very nice. And the three glasses of Pinot Noir I drank gave me exactly the false sense of well-being I needed to make me forget my ear infection for a few minutes.

Today, Brendan is running a fever again, but seems to feel better after a does of Motrin.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that he gets better and the rest of us also continue to improve.

And keep your fingers crossed that Scott doesn't get sick. He has a show on March 27. Speaking of which, if you're in Atlanta, listen to Dave FM for a radio spot for that show....The Lizardmen with Special Guest, Scott Downes. It's a show at 1five0. I just thought it was pretty cool!

Hurt

I just want to go on record as saying, Ear infections suck.

I have not had an ear infection since I was a small child. Until now. I finished my antibiotic two days ago, but last night woke up with excruciating pain in my left ear. Earlier in the night the congestion in my head made it feel like I couldn't hear.

This morning I called my doctor and told him what was going on. He called in three new prescriptions for me. A steroid to reduce the swelling in my eustachian tubes; a new decongestant that is more head-centric and less focused on the chest; and Hydrocodone for the pain. I took one pain pill at 3 p.m. and another at 7 p.m. and I'm still hurting.

I don't know how this is possible, but I am so thankful neither boy has had an ear infection yet.

Thank You

I just wanted to write a post saying how grateful I am to have friends who are so eager and willing to step up when they're needed. From the dear friend who sat in the ER with me for six hours and ran every errand imaginable including picking up my car at the pediatrician's office and getting me lunch to the doll who brought me a lasagne this morning, I am truly blessed.

In addition to all the wonderful friends in my life, I am also blessed right now to have more work than I know what to do with (I'm not complaining!). I have two articles I'm ghostwriting, one of which I got because I called to interview someone for the first story. And there may be more. If only I knew something about income trusts....

I am beginning to see what is really possible when you start thinking positively and focusing your energy on gratitude instead of fear.

On the Road Again

Slowly we emerge from the dark cave of despair.

Beckett came home from the hospital Saturday afternoon and continues to improve. I think he was happiest just to be able to roam freely about the house and play with his toys.

Brendan returned to school today. He was happy and his friend Kush gave him a big hug and said, "I am sorry you were absent, Brendan." It was somehow very formal and very sweet.

I picked up where my mother-in-law left off with cleaning my house. That wonderful woman did all of our laundry and organized my laundry room for me. She cooked a big meal Sunday night so that we'd have leftovers and she made me a bunch of her delicious chicken salad so I have lunch for several days.

I'm trying to organize an office space for myself in our basement and turn the rest of the area into a family room/playroom area. I need paint and a rug. To start with. Not sure what else we need. I don't feel like painting though. I need someone who likes painting so much they'd do it in someone else's house. I like it, but I'm too tired right now.

And now I'm rambling.

So, this is where we are. Better. Not 100%. But much, much better. Thank you all for the kind words and wishes.