Sleeping in the Devil's Bed

For a couple of years now, Brendan's bed has been a box spring and mattress set on the floor of his room.

When we first put him in this big boy bed at the ripe old age of two, we did this so that if he rolled out of bed, he wouldn't have far to roll. Our initial plan had been to keep him in his crib until he was as close to three as possible. Mr. Brendan – independent cuss that he is – decided that he had other plans. Two days after turning two, he climbed out of the crib (on its lowest setting) when I put him down for a nap. That night he was sleeping in his new bed.

At first the transition was a breeze. He hadn't yet figured out that he could just get of bed any time he wanted, so once we put him down for the night, he'd stay in bed until one of us got him up the next day. He'd sit in bed in the morning calling out, Mama. Mama. Maaa-Ma! until I came in the room. This period of transitional bliss lasted roughly a month and then he figured it all out. Since that day our lives have been an up and down battle to keep Brendan in his bed at night. We've stopped short of putting a lock on the outside of his door despite the fact that's what our pediatrician advised us to do well over a year ago. Scott was adamantly opposed. However, I, being the one who had to round Brendan up and take him back to his bed every night around 3 a.m., toyed with the idea.

Over the course of the last year or so, we've looked at a variety of children's beds, trying to find one we liked and could afford. On some level we have been thinking that if Brendan has a real big boy bed, maybe he will take sleeping more seriously and act like a big kid by staying in his bed at night.

IKEA has several cute beds, but the quality isn't there. Even their nicer beds are essentially particle board. And, if you've ever struggled to put together anything you bought at IKEA using one of their loathsome pictographs (words, people!!!!), you know that you probably don't want your toddler sleeping in one of their beds.

Finding a good, solid wood bed for a child is not impossible, but once you do, be prepared to spend upwards of $300 just for something very plain jane.

Thank goodness for yard sales. Some elderly neighbors of ours are moving and are selling a lot of their furniture. I was able to buy a lovely antique cherry twin bed for just $20! It was missing the bed bolts to hold it together, but we went to a specialty hardware store yesterday and found just what we needed. Last night Brendan slept in his new bed and loved it. This morning he told us that it was comfy.

With one exception, he stayed in it all night last night. That's pretty good. Hopefully, it will prove so comfortable to him that he won't want to leave it.

What a Girl Wants

I have been amazed by the sheer volume of commercials touting the perfect gift for Mother's Day. It seems like there are more this year than in the past, most for tacky, expensive jewelry.

Guys, let me tell ya...jewelry ain't what mama wants.

Now, don't get me wrong. A little trinket now and then is nice. But the moms I know would much prefer a little time to themselves. A long, lavender-scented bubble bath with no interruptions. A morning to sleep in while someone else feeds, entertains, and dresses the kids. An afternoon to sit and read a book in a single sitting. The ability to just go for a drive alone.

Of course, a nice dinner with the family, a foot massage or pedicure, a neck and shoulder rub...these would round out the deal rather nicely.

And they're basically free.

No need to get extravagant or spend a lot of money. Just a little love and appreciation.

That's all a mama really needs.

Yellow Leaves

The first conversation of my day went like this:

Brendan: Mommy, what if I were a leaf? And I fell of the tree and floated down to the ground?
Me: I'd watch you float down and be proud of what a beautiful leaf you turned out to be. And I'd miss you.
Brendan: No, Mommy. You're a leaf, too.
Me: Oh. Then, I'd fall off the tree and float away with you.
Brendan: Yeah. I love all the leaf-es...especially the Mommy and Daddy and Beckett leaf-es.

Just remembering that moment is like a big, warm hug.

Happiness Runs

The last week or so has found me in a very strange place mentally. I haven't blogged much because much of what I was feeling was dark. I was in a really scared and lonely place and didn't feel the need to subject the world at large to what was going on. I talked through a couple of things with Scott, with Suzanne, and with Jeremy. I don't know that I found any answers, but I found it incredibly comforting to know that I have people who care about me in my life. I'm lucky.

Obviously, a lot of what was going on with me has to do with the loss of my friend's baby. I keep replaying the moment, six days before Claire died, when I joked with my friend that she had a daughter for both of my sons. Her daughter Emily is just a month or two younger than Brendan and Claire was two months younger than Beckett. Emily and her older sister are both beautiful, but Emily is a real charmer with a smile that lights up the room while her older sister maintains that oldest child seriousness much of the time. I just keep imagining the beautiful, sweet child Claire might have become.

So, that combined with hearing from someone I care about that I'm really selfish and a bad friend, along with seeing a bunch of old college friends, has made me start taking stock of my life and some of the things I'd like to do but haven't yet.

I'm giving serious consideration to running in a half-marathon as a result. Of course, I've only been considering it for the last 24 hours or so after receiving an e-mail about this organization from my friend Susan. Susan suggested that members of our college class run the Nike Women's Half-Marathon in San Francisco together. It just struck me as a really cool goal to set for myself. A place to get to.

The problem is that I do not run. I've never been much of an athlete, but I'm thinking that can change. Maybe it should change.

Any runners out there who'd like to offer an opinion? Any advice on how to get started? Should I try to run with the 55 lbs. worth of kids plus a 20 lb. jogging stroller or without? Am I crazy to think I can start running now when I never have before?

Let me know what y'all think...

April Come She Will: The Perfect Post Awards

It's that time again...the beginning of the month and time for the Perfect Post Awards.

My nominee for April is this post, written by A. at A., Woman of Independent Means.

In the post, A. describes the remarkable journey from dreaming a child to nurturing it as she celebrates her sixth anniversary as a mother. I believe her description of her personal journey to and through the process of birthing and breastfeeding two children holds a very valuable lesson for anyone who is a mother, wants to be a mother, or loves a mother.

Motherhood is a blessing. But it is a blessing that requires commitment and self-sacrifice which often goes unnoticed and unrecognized by society and even by the people around us. While motherhood often exposes us to challenges we never considered, it also holds the promise of great personal accomplishment as we surmount obstacles and achieve goals we never realized we had set for ourselves. Rather than downplaying those accomplishments as women (especially mothers) are wont to do, it is important to acknowledge, recognize, and celebrate those personal successes just as we would celebrate the achievement of goals in other realms of our life. Important to our own self-worth and important to other mothers everywhere whose work is often overlooked and under-appreciated.

Fair play to you, A....for your personal accomplishments and for helping the rest of us realize that the goals we set and reach as mothers (even the goals we didn't realize we had) matter as much as other accomplishments.

You can check out all the Perfect Post nominees over at Suburban Turmoil or Petroville.

Live Through This

Early Friday morning, the beautiful 2-month old daughter of one of my friends died of SIDS. Claire was one of the sweetest little babies I've ever known. The fourth child, third daughter, she was loved, not only by her parents, but by all of us who have had the opportunity to know her family. They're really an amazing family.

The entire weekend was awful for me. It was my 15th college reunion and even while I was with my college friends, catching up, laughing, smiling, talking, drinking, I felt like I might just collapse from the weight of this pain and my guilt at any moment.

How? Why? It doesn't matter. The death of a child always seems tragic. But a baby, so innocent and pure and healthy. There's no way to make sense of it, but I think it's just so incomprehensible that something like this could happen. And no one knows what to do with it. How to act or be, what to say. What can you say?

I feel guilty and angry and so, so, so sad for my friends.

I Had a Real Good Mother & Father

So, after writing my earlier post and getting my fears out in the open and out of my system (for the most part), I read this post over on A.'s blog. I'm certainly not as extreme as the parents described in the article, but I definitely have my moments of overparenting as evidenced by, oh, about half the posts on this blog.

Like A., I, too, read every parenting book I could get my hands on and wondered how anyone could not have an opinion on certain parenting issues. I don't really care what anyone's opinion is, necessarily, but I do feel like a certain amount of thoughtfulness should be applied to parenting. Unfortunately, for me, I feel like I went too far, weighing every decision like my child's life (and my reputation as a parent) depended on it.

Having Beckett has definitely mellowed me. I don't have time to weigh each and every choice I make. Sometimes I have to give Brendan cold cereal for breakfast. Sometimes he watches too much t.v. Sometimes he stays up too late. But I'm not beating myself up for those choices any more. I don't even feel like they're mistakes anymore. They are just a few options among many.

As I've said before, most of the parents I know are just trying to do the best job they can. It has taken me a while to get here, and I'm sure I may backslide, but for now at least, I feel like we're doing okay. Brendan may never have taken a single Gymboree or Kindermusik or other class. But he's happy. And he has a fantastic imagination and wickedly funny sense of humor.

Now, if I can control my impulse to project onto my boys the qualities that I admire and which drive me, we may just be okay after all.

Dizzy Miss Lizzy

Do you ever have so much going on (in your life, in your head, in your heart) that you just don't know what to write about or where to begin?

That's kind of...No, that is how I feel right now.

We've been so busy and active the last few weeks. Scott's music. I've had a freelance project or two. I'm still working on the wedding I'm directing in June. I'm trying to figure out what to do for childcare this summer so I can work while Brendan's not in preschool. My 15-year college reunion is this weekend and I kind of forgot about it. I knew it was coming, but it snuck up on me.

I'm also trying to convince myself that sending Brendan to a public 5-day pre-K program in the fall is the right thing to do even though I want to keep him a baby, my baby, for as long as possible. I feel like 5-day public school will be the death knell for his innocence. I sound like a snob, but I really don't want my baby being exposed to a bunch of ruffian bad boys and I think that's what most boys aged 5-12 tend to be. And those are exactly the kids he'll be around at public school. Brendan is sweet and thoughtful and sensitive and I don't want that taken away from him, nor do I want him bullied for having those traits.

The other option is to keep him in the private preschool where he is now for pre-K. I guess I should do a pro-con list. Our neighborhood school really is excellent. I guess I'm just being a worried, overprotective mama.

And in other news...Both the boys have been super cute and sweet. Beckett really is taken with his older brother. It's absolutely the sweetest thing I've ever seen. If Beckett is crying and I can't get him to settle, Brendan will say, Maybe he wants me. And lo and behold if that baby doesn't stop crying and break out into the biggest grin you've ever seen when big brother comes around. I love it. It really is so beautiful to see the love growing between the two of them. And it makes Brendan so happy to think that he's responsible for helping make his brother happy. Who knew?

For the most part, things are good. There are a couple of things I'd love to talk about, but just can't. I can't put that much of myself out there right now. Maybe someday.

This is How It Goes

Scott played his last show for a few weeks last night at Inman Perk, a coffeehouse in the Inman Park neighborhood. His show was great; he played two songs he hadn't played live in 10 years and sounded great. His harmonica playing was fantastic. The only issue was the actual space. It's not entirely conducive to good listening, the floor space was weird. I don't know. I guess I need to figure out what I'm doing in terms of booking for the next round of shows and check places out a little more thoroughly. The next show is a house concert and I'm looking forward to that one. But, as far as last night goes I'll just chalk it up to a learning experience.

It just had the feeling of a weird night for me. Or rather, it was a weird night.

The group of friends who came out to see Scott play was interesting. Scott's cousin and her husband; an old co-worker of Scott's and his wife; a former bandmate and wife; plus two of Scott's current friends from work. Oh, and Scott's friend Mark. It was pretty cool to have such an interesting mix of people brought together. As always, it was great to see folks we haven't seen in a while. But it was also a little stressful bringing such a diverse crowd together. You never know if people will click or if it will be silent and awkward. Fortunately, no fist fights erupted and everyone seemed to enjoy his or herself.

Today was rough. I was tired and weepy for no obvious reason. I guess it's hormones. I don't know what else it could be.

Oh, but tomorrow is another day. Let's just see how it goes.

Funny How Time Slips Away

It's a little crazy to me to think how quickly the years have flown by, but Scott and I have now been married seven years. It really has flown by. I feel like we just got married, although our lives are so completely different than they were when we were getting married. The things I worry about now so different than the concerns I had back then.

Our actual anniversary fell on Easter Sunday. Not exactly the best time to celebrate an anniversary, so we went on Saturday night instead. We spent the weekend with Scott's mom and she kept the boys Saturday night while we went to a Montgomery Biscuits game. That's right. The best name in Minor League baseball. Ever.

Had it not been 20-some-odd degrees outside that night and blustery, it would have been grand. As it was, it was still pretty fun. Scott's brother has a few connections and so we ended up in the Mayor's box with seats adjacent to the swanky enclosed box. One of the other city departments was borrowing it that night, so there was no fancy food, but that's just as well because as we discovered, they actually serve my favorite food...biscuits. How awesome is that? The Montgomery Biscuits have chicken biscuits at their games!!

Of course, they have the more traditional baseball fare of hot dogs, brats, peanuts, popcorn, cracker jack, etc. But I was pretty happy with my chicken biscuit.

And with my honey. Despite the cold weather and very strange company we had a good time. In fact, we've enjoyed so much one-on-one time lately between our NY trip, our anniversary date, and Scott's gigs that I'm starting to feel human -- and, perhaps more important -- like a woman again. Having kids is great, but I didn't realize it meant sacrificing all the great things about why you got married in the first place. And I think we are both realizing now that you don't have to. It doesn't make you a bad parent to pay more attention to your marriage and a little less to your kids. In fact, I think if it makes your marriage stronger or reinforces it against the forces of life, then it makes you a better parent. I think it's also important to give your kids a sense of what makes a happy marriage and spending time with your partner is pretty high up there.

I've never really understood couples who never did things together. I'm not advocating spending every minute with your partner; you'd have nothing to contribute. But we know couples who never do anything together, but are constantly going out with friends. I think we both do a couple of things a month in the evenings solo or with friends while the other cares for the kids and until recently when we found some decent sitters, it was pretty depressing knowing that the one evening a month we could spend away from home we'd have to do without each other.

Thankfully, we seem to have crossed some hurdle in finding reliable sitters and getting Scott's mom to work with us to keep her grandsons. Hopefully I am not jinxing us by writing about it.

Wild Night

And I wonder how it is that this girl ended up on drugs. Seriously, some people should never become parents and I think this girl's mom and dad probably belong in that category. Idiots.

With a Little Help from My Friends

When I set out to write a blog, my only real intent, or rather the foundation of what I was doing, was simply to have an outlet.

I found motherhood so isolating and life-changing (duh!) that I had to find a way to explore my own essence, the little bits and bobs of who I am that come to the surface through personal writing. I realized that the hopes and dreams of the life left unrealized, along with the frustrations of the life I chose, were grinding me down and somewhere along the line I just didn't feel like me anymore. Hell, I didn't even look like me, but it took me three years to realize that. Blogging gave me a way to draw my own map out of the darkness, a light to shine on the parts of me I'd just as soon keep hidden so that I could scour them clean, repair them, or cast them aside.

At some point, I realized that there were other women out there who felt in ways very much as I did. By blogging I was not only adding my voice to the chorus of joy and woe being sung by countless other mom and dad bloggers, but I was also giving a voice to those not yet ready to share their own experiences.

In reading other blogs, I found hope and encouragement. At times I've read things that broke my heart, others that made me laugh out loud. Many, many blog entries have made me pause to appreciate this life of mine and the many blessings in it, while others have made me yearn ever more for the freedom I gave up to become a parent. The one thing the blogs I enjoy most have in common is the way they make me feel connected to humanity as a whole.

I know. It's crazy. A little mawkish, perhaps. But honest and real.

When I read that A.'s children aren't sleeping either, it allows me to see that I'm not the only one and serves as a reminder, that like millions of mothers before us, both she and I will survive this time in our lives as difficult as it is. And when I see Evilynmo's list of the seven songs she's currently into, it gives me a peek into the life and interest of someone else and opens my eyes (and ears) to new possibilities. It's the same way I feel when I read cable & tweed. I may not listen to half the stuff I read about or go to any of the shows listed, but reading the blog keeps me aware of all the possibilities and who wouldn't want to do that?

Where am I going with all this?

When I first started to write, I often wondered what the hell I was doing. I wondered if anyone would ever read what I wrote and if they did what they would think. I wavered between thinking it didn't matter what anyone thought and actively hoping someone, anyone, would read my blog and react positively to it.

Right now, a friend of mine, who writes a killer blog is thinking of dropping it because he's not sure that it's relevant or that anyone will want to read it. Other friends suggested that his interests are too specific and only people interested in the same stuff would want to read it. At least that's what I took from the e-mail he sent me today.

The thing is neither of us knew the other had a blog until yesterday. I sent him a link to my entry about my NY trip because I was short of time, but wanted to share what happened with him. In turn, he told me about his blog and what's going on.

I think it would be a shame if he quit blogging. Of course, he may convert it all into a web site that is less personal and more focused on his musical interests and that's fine. I just would hate for him to be discouraged and think it's not worth blogging because someone thinks his interests are too narrow.

That's such a big part of why I read blogs. I love taking a peek into the lives of others and seeing how they're not only similar to mine, but different. It makes life far more interesting and rich and varied. I was so happy to read Jeremy's blog and get a peek into what he's reading and listening to; hearing stories about his son.

This was a long and roundabout way of saying thank you to all the wonderful bloggers that help me keep it real even if they don't know they're doing so. And an even longer way of saying to a friend that what you're doing really does matter.

Words

Many moons ago, I wrote about some of Brendan's cuter malapropisms and unique word creations, my favorites being rainbrella (umbrella) and piratescope (telescope).

Today, he sprang a new one on me...detectafying glass for magnifying glass. I think it's awesome that the words he makes up really get to the actual use of the item or what he perceives as the use. Pirates use telescopes. Detectives use magnifying glasses. You use umbrellas when it rains.

He's very practical that way. Or literal, I guess. He also just told me, in reference to Porky Pig, that Porky sounds like a name for a porcupine. Of course, he also calls the Tasmanian Devil the Great Devil, which, for some reason, I find very amusing. Maybe they have it all wrong in the Middle East and we're not the Great Satan after all. They've got the wrong guy...it's him they're after.

Black River

Scott on Upper West Side
Originally uploaded by belleoftheblogATL.

Here's one of Scott outside Z's apartment. Her street was lined with trees covered in white lights. It was like a fairyland.

It reminded me, for some reason, of the first line of Scott's song, Black River.

I think this song might have been Scott's greatest success of the night as several people commented on how pretty it was.

Knoxville Girl

Chris playing Knoxville Girl
Originally uploaded by belleoftheblogATL.

I'm putting up some more pics from Friday night. Here's one of Chris playing Knoxville Girl while Scott and C. look on.

Scotch and Chocolate

Scott and Chris playing
Originally uploaded by belleoftheblogATL.

Where to begin describing one of the best nights of your life?

Maybe at the beginning?

Our original reason for traveling to New York this past weekend was to attend a dinner party hosted by our friend Z.

Z. is an old friend of Scott's from college, actually an old girlfriend. And a really amazing person. She's smart, beautiful, works for a prestigious magazine, and travels among New York's most urbane, sophisticated circles.

Z organized a dinner and music night for Friday evening and we couldn't pass up the opportunity. It was a unique opportunity for us to mingle with a host of individuals from the art world including photographer Dudley Reed, the painter Steve Ellis (who is also one heck of a guitar player), along with half a dozen or so other editors, gallery owners, and random famous people.

The focus of the night was on good food and great music featuring the playing of Grammy-award winning mandolin player and Nickel Creek member Chris Thile; his girlfriend C, who has the voice of an angel and plays ukulele and banjo; Scott, who played several of his new songs; and Steven, who has an extensive knowledge of American bluegrass and traditional music.

Scott and I were the first to arrive at Z's. We came bearing a bottle of Bowmore Darkest Scotch and visited with Z and her beau, W., an architect, and very good cook.

Soon the other guests began to arrive and we all began shuffling around trying to find a place to land. Scott and I ended up in a corner, opposite the front door, talking with Steven and W. about Chapel Hill, New Orleans, and, naturally, music.

We soon realized what a great decision it was to bring the Bowmore instead of the typical bottle of wine. Everyone who came in expressed curiosity about it and ended up having a glass. Including Chris Thile.

When he came in the room and was offered a glass of Scotch, he got excited and said that it was one of his favorite single malts. He was the only one who had heard of it, and as it turns out, is quite the Scotch afficianado. He gave us a quick lesson on Islay Scotch and then we settled in to talking about everything from root canals to religion.

I was a little surprised that he sort of locked in on Scott and me right away. Then, it dawned on me that we were the youngest people in the room, other than Z. and Chris's girlfriend, C.

So.....after talking and enjoying a delicious supper of chili and salad, Z. asked the musicians to gather their instruments and get to work playing.

And play they did.

It was easily, hands down, the best night of music I've ever heard in my life.

Steven played first, playing a Robert Johnson song. Then Scott played his song Vampire. Chris jumped in and played mandolin on both of them.

Ultimately, between the four musicians, over twenty songs were played, more than a couple of hours worth of music with only a 5 or 10 minute break in between. Chris and C. sang and played a cover of The Decemberists, Yankee Bayonet. I thought my heart might just disentegrate from the sheer beauty of their harmonies on the song, not to mention Chris's delicate playing.

C. also played one of her originals that just really blew me away. Her voice is really magical and I feel honored to have had the opportunity to have heard her in such an intimate setting.

And, God! Hearing and seeing Chris play like that and on Scott's songs, too! Wow! Words can't do justice to what an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience that was. There was just something chemical going on between the two of them. Chris really seemed to enjoy playing along on songs he had never heard before and which weren't nececssarily easy songs to play.

I am still having chills when I remember his performance on Still Life, especially when he and Scott harmonized.

Oh! And then, there was the Bach piece he played. One of the most moving experiences of hearing classical music I've ever had in my life. I hope he records it some day, because unfortunately, it has already begun to fade from my grasp.

Really, really, really just one of the most remarkable experiences of my life. I was so proud of Scott and the fact that Chris genuinely liked his songs and enjoyed playing with him. On one song, he said, Killer chorus! And at the end of the night, he told Scott that it had been a great experience to play with him. Naturally, Scott said the honor was his.

I'm still kind of stunned by the whole thing. Mostly by the fact of what a stand-up guy Chris Thile is and what a lovely person his girlfriend is. They may be the two sweetest people I've ever met. Not to mention two of the most talented.

I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to be there with Scott as he had the chance to play with them. They all put on a terrific performance. It was hard to believe Scott had anything left the next night, but Saturday's performance might have been even better.

I'll write more about that later.

19th Nervous Breakdown

Well, last night was amazing, but I don't have time at the moment to share all the rich and glorious detail. I will write a longer post later.

Right now I'm hanging around the venue where Scott will be playing in less than one hour, while he and our friend Chris are off buying a new microphone cable.

I'm excited, but nervous. I don't know why I'm nervous when I'm not the performer, but I am. At the same time, based on Scott's talent and skill, I'm certain everything will be fine. Especially if last night's performance gives any indication of things to come.

Spiritual Regeneration

It's no great revelation that beautiful art of any sort can lift your spirit, even turning a bad day into a great one.

I recently discovered an artist online whose work really moves me. She's a collage artist who creates the most amazing pictures from torn bits of paper. Pretty cool stuff.

I'm linking to her new works, but I love her abstract and conceptual pieces as well.

Check her out....

Eileen Downes.

Hope you enjoy!

New York, New York

So, we're going to try this out of town thing again...

Our friend Chris asked Scott to come play as the inaugural performer for an acoustic music series at CRS, a spiritual community arts center founded by Chris and his partner, Yasuko. Scott will be playing at CRS on Saturday night at 8 p.m.

Can I just say how excited I am?

I think there are a few of you out there reading this who live in New York or nearby who might be interested in seeing Scott play. Please come. You can order tickets online through the CRS web site. And if you're not in New York but have your peeps up there, let them know, too. The more, the merrier.

Road to Joy

This weekend was one of those busy, crazy, hectic, joy-filled weekends that leaves you both a little empty-sad and relieved when it's over.

On Saturday, we had Beckett baptised at our church. It was a little strange. My favorite deacon performed the ceremony, but it still felt rushed and sloppy, where Brendan's -- held during a mass and performed by our priest -- seemed magnificent.

It makes me extremely sad that the priest at our church has decided he has no time for children or their concerns and that baptisms, one of the most beautiful and basic of the sacraments, is treated almost as an afterthought.

Still, Beckett, borne of an act of love and joy, received an act of original blessing. and has begun his walk of faith. I hope that I can instill in him a love of God and a belief in the miracles that surround us. I pray he finds great joy in this life. Joy in the smallest things, as well as the great moments of life.

I hope Beckett knows the kind of joy and love and pride I felt Saturday night watching his dad play and sing before a packed house at our local coffeehouse. He was brilliant. Just brilliant. He played for almost two full hours. It was actually the first time I had ever seen him perform live. I mean, I've seen him play at parties at our house, at weddings and rehearsal dinners, at events for just family and friends. But, I'd never seen him play an actual show for paying (or tipping) customers before. It was very cool! And, very hot!

I also hope he enjoys a loving, joyful relationship with his godparents...his Aunt Kimberly, Uncle Greg, and our friend J.Ed. They are all such unique, special people and we are blessed to have them be a part of our lives. Kimberly is sweet and gentle and loving in her own, special way. Greg is charming and kind of funny. J.Ed is smart, and funny, and kind. Like I said, they are very special, unique individuals who will bless our child in their own ways.

Mostly, I really just hope he knows love. With enough love, I believe anyone can find their path in life and walk in the light.
With enough love, anyone can find their own road to joy.