Let It Snow!

On Saturday, we got the first real snow we've had. The snow earlier in the week just left a light dusting that was melted away overnight by the rain that fell. However, Saturday's snow dropped a few inches, which is quite a lot to us Atlantans. We had a ball playing in it. I loved seeing Brendan enjoying this new experience and Scott and I really enjoyed playing in the snow, too.

We just went out to play with Brendan, but before we knew it, we had half the kids in the neighborhood in our yard having a snowball fight. It was awesome. I loved it! I love that the kids in our neighborhood are comfortable enough with us and each other to do that. Brendan, who is a little shy, kind of clung to the edges of the group and would only throw snowballs at me and his dad, but I think he enjoyed being a part of the fun. I don't know that it was like this for him, but for me, it was kind of like watching a movie. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to play in the snow because my mom thought I'd get sick. And guess what? Brendan did get sick and now I'm sick, but it was worth it to see him having such a wonderful time and to interact with our neighborhood kids in that way.

I hope it snows again before winter is over and we can do it again. Much of the snow melted before we got a chance to go back out and by Sunday most of it was gone. We never had a chance to build a snowman and I was pretty disappointed about that. Especially after seeing some of the creative and hilarious examples dotting the neighborhood.

If you're curious, you can check out some of our other photos at Flickr.

Sick Bed of Dawnulainn

What is up with all the sickness?

I have gone from being one of the healthiest people I know with the healthiest kid to someone in our house being sick constantly. I guess it started roughly a year ago. Almost exactly a year ago when a plague descended upon our house. Exhaustion from having a newborn and post-partum depression had taken their toll and I ended up with a sinus infection that spread to my eyes, the flu, and an outbreak of fever blisters. I remember the timing of it because it was the week before Brendan's birthday party and I was so worried we would have to cancel the party because I was so sick. Brendan's party is next week. Thankfully this year it's very low key. I'm not worried that I have to prove to him that we still love him even though he has a new sibling.

So, I'm just going to try and rest as much as I can the next few days and accept that the basement playroom will not be ready before the party and deal with it.

Scott is out at CVS right now getting me some Theraflu and then is going to stop at the Thai place to get me some super-spicy curry. Hopefully, that combination opens my sinuses up and we can move forward from there.

And hopefully Brendan's cough improves. I've been up with him the last three nights and think I caught this last night when he coughed so hard he threw up on me. At least I felt fine until sometime around 10 a.m. today when it all started going downhill fast.

So, on that note...Goodnight y'all. My food and Theraflu just arrived.

Taking Care of Business

I am loving my BusyBodyBook! It is proving to be a great system for me. I can see all of our calendars at a glance and it's ideal for me to keep up with my to-do list. I prefer jotting things down by hand to doing it on-line. So, even though I've used Ta-Da Lists with some success, this suits my personality better. And I love the pocket at the front of the book. This morning when I went out to run errands, I just stuck the things I had to mail, a check and deposit slip, and stamps right in there, so everything I needed for errands was neat and tidy and in one place instead of at the bottom of the diaper bag.

I just received an e-mail from Joan at About Your Time, makers of the BusyBodyBook. There's a great sale going on now until Groundhog's Day! Take a minute and check it out. This would make an excellent gift for the messy, unorganized person in your life.


20% OFF
In Honor

of

Punxsutawney Phil !
According to legend, if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather.

It's FREEEZZZING here today. I'm so desperately hoping that Punxsutawney Phil is absolutely shadowLESS and to lure him out of his burrow now for an even earlier spring we're offering up a 20% discount on all of our BusyBodyBook products until the official Groundhog Day on Feb. 2.


Aug '07 - Sept '08 2008


The UNdated Fridge GRID Pad
Start planning for an early spring with BBB and save now when you enter discount code BBBSALE in the comment box at our checkout.

Wishing us all warmer weather!
Joan

About Your Time LLC
(973)761-6782

Everything Memes Nothing to Me

Merlot Mom just tagged me. I don't get tagged for memes very often (that's not an invitation to any of you wiseacres out there!). And since my sick-and-at-home big boy is otherwise occupied at the moment and playing nicely with baby brother, I have a minute to do this.

So, these are the rules: (1)Link to the person that tagged you. (2)Post the rules on your blog. (3)Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (I apologize in advance!!!)(4)Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (5)Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. Damn! That's a lot of work when you think about it. Ha! I'm kidding. It's fun!

WAIT! WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS BLOGCAST FOR A HURT TOE IN NEED OF A DORA BAND-AID! DETAILS AT 10:00!

...And now we join Belle Responds to a Meme, already in progress...

1. I always put my shoes and socks on sock/sock, shoe/shoe and I always start with my right foot. It feels weird to me to do it differently.

2. My very first dog's name was Dusty, hence my porn-star name would be Dusty Virginia if you follow the childhood pet/street name rule of name-making.

3. I have a strange affinity for the band Styx.

4. I worked hard to refine my Southern accent from a hick accent into one that sounded more proper. I did this after a friend made fun of me for saying yalla instead of yellow and thE-ATEr instead of theatre. My aspirational accent is Virginia Tidewater or Atlanta/Birmingham elite. Sadly, I can't remember the specific names for those accents. All that said, when I drink, my accent becomes more pronounced.

5. I love white and pink roses.

6. I sleep better when I'm touching someone I love. That includes my dog Cooper.

Okay. Tag you are it: Renn, Jen, http://thewonderkeepingthestarsapart.blogspot.com/, Jeremy, Mimi, and Melanie!

Death Letter

I can't say I was really a fan of Heath Ledger, but I found him likable enough and a good enough actor that I enjoyed him in movies.

For some reason, his death really made me sad today. I actually cried and I don't usually cry when famous people die. I think it's the idea of his little girl growing up without him. He seemed like a decent guy and a good dad. And it's always sad when someone dies so young and at the height of his or her career.

I made the mistake of going to a celebrity gossip site after hearing just a mention of his death on BBC America World News. I was mortified that the site had pictures of his body being removed from his building and a disgusting article about how much apartments rent for in his building. I am disgusted. I guess that's what I get. I just wondered how or why he died? I didn't need to know any other morbid details or know the square footage of the vacant apartment in his building and how much it rents for. In other words, I didn't need them to revel in the death of a successful person so some mediocre columnist at a third-rate gossip site could make himself feel better.

More and more, I find myself disgusted with this culture of celebrity gossip, the cult of personality. Is it any wonder poor Britney Spears can't keep it together? God bless her, but I know she had no idea what it is like to be a mother and all the responsibility it entails. It doesn't sound as though her mother did a very good job mothering her or her sister. And then every mistake the poor girl makes is blown out of proportion and put in neon lights for all the world to see.

I can attest to the fact that once you start doubting your parenting skills and making mistakes, if you don't believe in yourself it can all go to hell really fast. And there's no way that poor girl could believe in herself with the entire world judging her.

Again, I'm no fan of her as a singer or entertainer, but damn! I feel for her and any other mother out there whose day to day life is examined and judged in the way that hers is.

All that said, Miss Girl needs to get it together and she clearly needs help doing so.

But I ask, who are the childless 20-something writers at the gossip magazines to judge? And who are we, really? I mean, we all make mistakes. Every one of us probably has some stupid thing we've done – as a parent, a friend, a wife, a lover, a member of society – that we wish we could undo. But it's not our place to judge others. As hard as that may be. Trust me. It's a particular weakness of mine that I've struggled to overcome and I fail often. But I don't want anyone judging me for all the stupid things I've done, do, and am likely to do again. So, I try to work on it.

My apologies for going off on a tangent there, but obviously these issues have struck a nerve for some reason. I guess I'm just feeling my mommy-ness right now and these two situations just strike me as very, very sad for all the children involved and I find it disgusting that the celebrity media don't seem to take those babies into consideration when they're writing disparaging things about the parents or showing heartbreaking photos. You'd think they were raised by wolves.

Hey, Grandpa! What's for Supper?

Scott Peacock's Chicken and Rice
Creamed Cabbage
Black-eyed Peas
Cornbread

Words

I just heard Mitt Romney, on CNN, describe the U.S. Constitution as a piece of paper with a lot of words on it.

I have no words...

Can't Complain

Every time I start complaining lately, I find myself feeling guilty and horrible. When I get angry because my kids are being too loud and I can't hear myself think and all I want is a moment of silence, I find myself thinking about how there are so many parents out there who would give anything to hear the shouts and screams of their little ones, but can't because they've died of some terrible disease. When I get irritated because I'm trying to do something and Brendan wants to talk and talk and talk about some cartoon or a toy or something I'm not all that interested in at the moment, I think about all the parents of autistic kids who are trapped in their minds and can't talk at all. Lately, my life is an endless cycle of guilt.

I think bad thoughts about someone, judge the person for how I think she has hurt me or someone else, and then I think well, I should put myself in her shoes. What would I do if our roles were reversed? It's constant for me.

Whatever negative feelings I have, I immediately feel guilty for feeling them and feel they are either unjustified or someone else, some better person, wouldn't be feeling the way I feel.

Ugh! When did I become this neurotic freak who just isn't able to simply BE?

Brendan told me yesterday – after I asked him to forgive me for getting frustrated with him for not listening to me for the nth time – that he forgave me and that he always forgives everybody. And when he said it, he meant it. And he was so filled with goodness and kindness...I was broken-hearted by how much I love this kid and I just wish I knew how to be the perfect mother for him and his brother. How to be the perfect wife for Scott. The perfect friend.

I guess I just feel like I fuck up over and over again, let the people I love down by not having the time or energy for them I know they really need. Not being who or what they need. I always feel like I'm spread so thin. Other women do it and do more. And certainly with far more grace and far less anger and guilt and fear. I just keep thinking if I can just find the right magic bean to figure out who it is I am meant to be I can make everyone, including myself, happy and loved, and I can be successful and have it all – happy marriage, happy kids, happy friendships, happy, successful career, money, wonderful experiences, health, energy. I guess I want what most everyone else wants.

Of course, my first thought as I write that is how selfish I am for wanting those things. That all I should really want is world peace, for the poor and hungry of the world to be taken care of, blah, blah, blah.

I guess I just need to accept that this is where I am now, this is what I feel, and I'm not the Devil for feeling what I feel or thinking what I think. I simply AM.

Poison Oak

Okay. This is totally freaky. I just kind of had the TV on for background noise while I was surfing here this morning. And all of a sudden I look up and see the church I grew up in on TV. With the Oak Ridge Boys standing on the altar singing. Right behind them is the baptismal font where I was baptised when I was 16. The choir loft where I used to sing on Sunday nights. The balcony where I sat with my girlfriends, slipping each other notes. It's just a little weird and unexpected. Especially since the town I grew up in is tiny...only about 20,000 people. It is a suburb of Nashville, only about 30 miles away. But it's just kind of weird and unexpected and it makes me a little homesick and nostalgic.

Midnight Train to Georgia

Happy Friday, y'all.

I'm having a bit of a rough day emotionally, so I don't feel like writing much, but I wanted to share something cool with my Georgia readers that I just learned about.

It's the Georgia Blog Carnival, happening today over at Georgia Politics Unfiltered. Check it out for some links to some fascinating Georgia-centric blogs. And for a more complete, in-depth list of many, many cool Georgia-based blogs, check out the Georgia Blogroll over at Georgia On My Mind, a really cool site run by an elementary history teacher that features Georgia history, Georgia blogs, and Georgia goings-on. I just discovered it recently and love it.

Winter Wonderland

It's snowing! Whoooo-hooooo! Yay!

I'm so excited! I hope it sticks!

Listen to the Lion

So, I've been meaning to write about this and present this particular post for several days now. However, I needed to give this quite a bit of thought before I began writing.

You see, Rennratt gave me an award. It's the Roar for Powerful Words award, given writer to writer. And I am tickled pink as you can imagine. It's always a good feeling to know that someone likes and appreciates what you're doing. Especially when it's someone whose writing and talent you admire.

The award originated with a quite talented writer/journalist named Seamus Kearney and his writers' collective, Shameless Lions.


So, here's how it works, more or less:

"How does it work? Below are copies of the award that we can each distribute to those people who have blogs we love, can't live without, where we think the writing is good and powerful. I thought interested members could kick things off by publishing the award on their own blog, naming five people they would like to give it to (members or non-members), and accompany the image with three things they believe are necessary to make writing good and powerful. The recipients then do the same, passing it on to five other people, and so on."

Which five fellow bloggers do I admire? Who has the blogs I can't live without? Who writes well and powerfully? All good and interesting questions and ones I can't answer without acknowledging the fact that I probably shouldn't award the person who awarded me or anyone to whom she gave the award. So, that narrows my field by at least two. I just nominated a new favorite for a Perfect Post. So, with all that in consideration, here are some of my current favorites, though they are in no particular order (and if yours isn't here, that doesn't mean I don't adore you and your writing). I'm just being forced to choose.

Dancing On the Jetty:
I know Jeremy in real life and he's a good friend. One of the best, most salt-of-the-earth folks you will ever meet. When I worked as a copywriter, Jeremy was my proofreader. As long as I have known him, he has been a straight-shooter, but sincere and compassionate. His writing reflects those qualities. He has an infinite knowledge of music and film that seems to span every genre. He knows a ton about sports, especially baseball. He's more socially and politically-aware than your average bear and whenever I read his blog, I learn something.

Letters About Eve:
Letters About Eve chronicles the life of Jen, her husband Ben, and their beautiful daughter Evelyn. It's a private blog, so you probably can't access it, but I still want to acknowledge how much I love reading about Jen, Evie, and their adventures. Jen's husband Ben is in the Army and just came home after being deployed. They live on a farm with Jen's parents and reading about her wonderful family – Grammy and Grampers, Big Bro and Doc Rom, Uncle Stan – as well as the goats and other farm animals, Jen's work with an autistic kid, and soon her experiences in graduate school give me a peek into a life I will never experience. Her writing is so crystal clear and succinct. It reflects her joy of life without being cloying or sentimental. In essence, I think her clear, descriptive writing and the things Jen chooses to write about are illustrative of the true essence of the world family. Letters About Eve has become a blog I look forward to the way I look forward to a sunny day after a week of rain.

The Wonder Keeping the Stars Apart:
If I just stumbled onto this blog, I'd be compelled to read it, simply for the beauty of its title, which comes from this e.e. cummings poem. Again, I must admit that this blog's author, Suzanne, is a real world friend. We have a long and complicated history and she is someone that I genuinely love. Her writing is bright, witty, refreshing, and runs the gamut from her beloved Charleston, her brilliant legal career and her romance with Sweetie to national and international politics. It's like Sex in the City meets Face the Nation. But in her writing, you see her humanity...pain, joy, strength, vulnerability. Her writing is intelligent, often witty, and always cuts to the heart of the matter.

Suburban Turmoil:
Lindsay Ferrier is an excellent story teller. She has a natural gift for dialogue and a keen sense of the ridiculous in this world. I often find myself disagreeing or thinking that she's overly judgmental and harsh. Sometimes, she even comes across as mean-spirited. We're worlds apart on the topic of smocked clothes for boys. But still...I always come back for more. I think the ability to write funny, as it were is rare indeed. I would give my eye teeth to be able to tell a funny story. Sadly, I just don't got it! Lindsay does, though. The only blog that provides me with more laughs on a routine basis is Rennratt's. If you've never read it, you should definitely check it out.

A., Woman of Independent Means:
A. writes about as honestly and as much from the heart as any blogger out there. Her blog covers topics from raising her two children and life as the wife of a minister to her own career as a minister and the life she has put on hold in many ways to be there for her kids. She writes about the world at large and the world in her own home with care, passion, intelligence, and above all, honesty. She, like Jeremy, is a straight-shooter, but she is never snide, cynical, mean, judgmental or any of the other qualities that I find so distasteful about many bloggers. In fact, I tend to find A.'s writing inspiring and uplifting without being overly sentimental. Even in posts that express anger or dissatisfaction, I find comfort because I finally feel that someone else understands the maddening thoughts of my inner life.

Who Do You Love?

I found this little quiz over on James' blog, Right Face, and thought I'd take the test to see where I stand. I honestly think of myself as being very middle of the road, although I have considered myself a Hillary supporter since she was First Lady. Initially, I was a bit shocked by the results of the quiz, but when I thought about it, I realized it makes perfect sense. Ms. Clinton is not the raging liberal the Right makes her out to be. And as much as I want to like Obama there's just something there that makes feel I can't trust him. And don't get me started on Edwards. Lord. He makes my skin crawl and beside him, Bill Clinton looks like a Boy Scout to me. Edwards I totally do not trust. He's too smiley and his aww-shucks, cornponiness just rubs me the wrong way.

I do like John McCain and was surprised to see I don't line up more with his beliefs. I tend to be a bit hawkish on military issues, but I knew we didn't line up on Iraq (I say clean up our mess as much and as quickly as we can, then get out.), but still I thought I'd be a closer match.

So, there you go. Take the test and see where you fall.

85% Hillary Clinton
85% Chris Dodd
85% Barack Obama
83% John Edwards
75% Bill Richardson
70% Joe Biden
68% Dennis Kucinich
66% Mike Gravel
61% Rudy Giuliani
51% John McCain
42% Mike Huckabee
41% Mitt Romney
35% Tom Tancredo
29% Fred Thompson
26% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

It's Not Safe

Meredith Emerson's murder and the possible other murders committed by this monster, Gary Michael Hilton, have really shaken me. I guess it's the idea that a serial killer was walking around within a few miles of my home, sometimes living in a park I've taken my children to, and mutilating and disposing of bodies in an area I used to go hiking in when I was the same age as the girl he murdered. It's really put me on edge and made me realize that I need to become more aware of my surroundings.

Last year there was a mugger or armed robber who targeted moms with small kids who would have to be put into car seats. He would wait in the parking lot until he saw the women putting the kids in the car and then approach them from behind, put a gun to the back of their heads and rob them, threatening to either kill them or their kids. Again, in the area where we live. He robbed one woman in the Whole Foods parking lot at the store I used to frequent once a week. Oh, yeah. He did this in broad daylight. He was eventually caught and arrested, but that made me start paying more attention to who was around when I had the kids with me.

But this just brings the issue of safety to the forefront of my mind again.

This article appeared in the AJC today and has some good tips. There is also information at the end of the article about free self-defense classes for women which are being sponsored by local radio station Q100.

The only bit of advice I have to add to the tips offered by the article is something a former cop told me once. He said never let an attacker get you in the car. If someone tries to carjack you, or push you into a car (yours or theirs) let them kill you on the spot before you get in the car. He said either way, you'll end up dead, but at least if they kill you on the spot your family will have you to bury and maybe someone will see or hear it happen.He said that very few people who get abducted are ever found at all. I always have that in my mind as horrible as it is. And I don't even know if it's true, but it sure sounds plausible.

Learning to Fly

The moral of today's story, folks, is don't get too big for your britches. I was so pleased with myself last night for cleaning my kitchen and shining my sink as the FlyLady recommends. I had Brendan's lunch packed and his breakfast all laid out and ready to go. His backpack was packed and ready. I was so full of my newfound excitement over being organized that I decided to get my automatic coffeemaker all set up and ready to make my coffee and have it waiting for me when I awoke. I was thinking, Wow, I am off to one excellent start on this efficiency thing! Look at me!

So, where did I go wrong? I know that's what you're asking yourself. Right?

In my being so pleased with myself, I managed to forget to put water in the coffeemaker. So, when I awoke, I got to have the wind taken out of my sails a little. Still, I had a pretty good start to the morning. Because I had most everything done that needed to be done before Brendan gets up for school, I had time for prayer and meditation and to blog a little.

It's going to be a great day!

Oh Mercy

If anyone came in my house at the moment, I'm really not sure what they'd think. I'm not sure what I think...

I'm halfway through taking down our interior decorations, but there are boxes, rolls of wrapping paper, and used gift bags all over the foyer. In my living room where I am right now, Brendan is pumping a tire pump pretending to put air in my exercise ball while Beckett walks around him in a circle repeatedly while holding a plastic Peter Rabbit bowl. Going by the quizzical look on his face, Beckett seems to be trying to figure out what the heck his brother is doing.

Me? I just finished taking down the outdoor decorations, cleaning and repairing the gutter on the front of the house, and placing all the exterior decorations in their proper places (wreaths hung on hooks in the garage; lights, garland, and hangers in a plastic bin, labeled and in the attic.). I also put all my fall decorations (a witch, some berry garland, and some autumnal wreaths) in their own bin and put that in the attic as well.

Before this unusual sibling ritual began, I thought I'd take a break and check my e-mail, then get right back to work. But this was too funny and bizarre not to mention.

Now that they've performed their dance of brotherly fascination, Brendan has decided to start taking his favorite decorations of the tree and this has caught baby brother's attention, too. I think it's time to intervene....

Dog

Hey, my animal-loving friends. Here's your chance to do a kind deed for an animal today. A friend who volunteers at Atlanta Pet Rescue, a no-kill shelter, sent me the following information. If you would be so kind as to participate, I know I would appreciate it, as would all the sweet, adorable dogs and cats waiting at APR until they find loving families.

Thanks!

Circuit City is holding a contest for the next Firedog, the mascot of their customer support service. For every vote each dog receives, the animal shelter of that dog's owner's choosing will receive $1. The shelter of the winning dog will receive $50,000.

Please vote for Toby. Toby's shelter is the Atlanta Pet Rescue, a nonprofit, volunteer-based, no-kill animal shelter that could really use 50 grand.

To vote for Toby:

Go to firedog.com
enter your email address and click Submit
check your email for the confirmation link
Click the link
That's it. If you really want to help, use every email address you have. But remember, you have to click the link in the confirmation email for your vote to be submitted. And if you want to help some more, forward this email to everyone you know.

Something to Look Forward To

Okay. So I've done most of the items on the Messies Flight Plan for Fledglings. I haven't eaten yet, but I've knocked out the other basics on the list. I'm about to get up and start laundry and then make breakfast for myself and the boys.

I've also discovered another tool that I'll be using in my fight against chaos. It's the BusyBodyBook Personal and Family Organizer. It's designed by a mom – Joan Goldner – for other moms. I spoke with Joan via e-mail and she's sending me one to try out and report back on. In the meantime, I have downloaded January's weekly grids (the book offers much more than just a calendar system, but I'll save those details until I have the book in hand). I am going to use those to plan my week and hopefully, like that, become instantly more efficient just by having a written compilation of all I want and need to accomplish.

Happy House

For too long I have been unorganized and stressed out. My goal for the new year is to undo old habits of procrastination and indecision and get myself, my home, and my life organized and functioning smoothly.

I'm looking at using the Messies Anonymous six-week plan. I've already actually done a few of the things suggested (I cleaned and organized my pantry today; last week I cleaned and organized Brendan's closet and added storage in his room.) and am planning to start my new way of life by creating and sticking to daily schedules.

It's really scary for me to think about trying to make a major life change like this. I am chronically disorganized. I know, however, how much easier life would be if I could change. And I really want to change. I need to change before one of my children gets lost in my house.

Wish me luck.

And if you have any tips on time management, household scheduling, sticking to routines, or just getting things done, please feel free to pass them along.

I Can't Get My Head Around It

I want to be a good Catholic and leave all judgment up to God, to believe in my heart that the death penalty is wrong. But then, I hear a story like this one, about a girl just going about her life, doing something she loved, and not bothering anyone, who gets murdered by some low-life creep and it all goes out the window.

I don't know why this story hits so close to home with me. I guess it's a case of there but for the grace of God... I was never an avid hiker, but when I was this girl's age, I certainly went hiking alone, without even a dog, on portions of the Appalachian Trail and had fantasies of hiking the whole thing some day. I never gave a second thought to the safety of it. I never told anyone where I'd be either. I just went and got a room at a state park lodge and went hiking, just to be alone in nature and clear my head. It never occurred to me that some random creep could be out there on the trails, waiting to murder someone. And I'm sure it never occurred to Meredith either. Why would it? Why would any of us think there's another human out there wishing to do us harm? We shouldn't have to think that way.

Of course, I think our society might be more violent now than it was 12 or 13 years ago with less respect for life or other people generally. I often think we're in our decline as a culture and society, but then I start freaking out and can't let myself go there. I worry too much about what this world will be like when my children are grown. It's just too overwhelming sometimes.

I feel awful for Meredith's poor family. And I just can't get my head around why this creep would have to murder her. But in my heart I can't make myself find any reason why he should get to live – even in prison – when he so readily took this poor girl's life.

Made from Dirt

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was working on a couple of crafty projects to give as gifts. Now that the recipient (my best friend, Courtney) has received them, I thought I'd share them here.

The first is a wall hanging with Courtney's initial. I used colors that remind me of her and that I know she has in her decor already. The second piece is a simple Christmas ornament, also with her initials (all three this time). We always exchange ornaments at Christmas and for some reason when I saw these letters, which are actually magnets, the idea just came to me.

I'm not generally a very artistic or crafty person, but every now and then I'm inspired.

Artistiya

If you're a parent in the ATL looking for something fun to do with your toddler or a cool class for your preschooler-or-older kiddo, check out Two Crafty Chicks, a neighborhood art studio for wee ones. Actually, not just the wee ones, but the angsty teenage ones as well. TCC offer classes and activities, including on-site birthday parties for kids ages 2 to Teen and even have "Moms' Night Out" sessions. The preschool-and-up classes are two-hour drop-off sessions that cost $15. That's cheaper than any babysitter and you know your kid is doing something fun and creative while you're getting your errands taken care of. Quietly. And you may just end up with a cool new picture frame out of the deal. Cool.

Home for the Holidays: December's Perfect Post

In my mind, I've always created visions of how I want things to be or ideals of situations. Essentially daydreams of how I wish life could be, I guess.

For me, the perfect Christmas is all about being with family – not some rushed and hurried let's-get-to-the-presents dash through dinner, open the presents, and everyone go their separate ways, but rather two or three days spent together, cooking, sharing stories in a warm kitchen over coffee. Nights cuddled in front of a fireplace singing along to carols and laughing at memories of Christmases past. Quiet, intimate moments with the person I love most in the world that turn into treasured memories.

A few days ago, I stumbled onto Mimi on the Breach, another Mommy Blog and I read this post. Mimi describes beautiful, shining moments from her Christmas with her family – moments with her husband and daughter, with her husband's parents. She talks about cooking and listening to carols, and the picture she paints is so warm and bright and beautiful that as I read, I found myself transported. It was as if I were there in the kitchen with her and her husband. I could feel the warmth off the oven and smell the sage and rosemary. And I could feel the love and joy she was experiencing. I was moved to tears of joy for this complete stranger and intensely impressed by her ability to describe her experience in such vivid detail.

Mimi on the Breach wins my vote for December's Perfect Post with her post, Christmas Goodies. Beautiful, heartfelt writing.

You can check out the entire list of Perfect Post winners either at Suburban Turmoil or Petroville.

Auld Lang Syne

2007 was a long, exciting, difficult, heart-bending, challenging, dark, and beautiful year. I'm thankful I survived it and thankful I experienced it. And I'm looking forward with great hope to 2008.

If you were here and listened to me as I poured my heart out to the blogosphere, thank you. Thank you to A. and Renn and Jeremy and Rich and Suz and all of y'all who offered encouragement when I thought I was going to be pulled under the dark waters of ppd. Naturally, I couldn't have done it without the compassion of Scott and the friends who dwell here with me in 3-D land. But I also couldn't have thrived the way I think I have without the heartfelt support of those of you whom I only know through our blogs and our crazy desire to throw it all up and out for the world to feel. Just knowing y'all were out there reading somehow made me keep writing and that somehow made me keep going and gaining hope each day that the darkness would lift. And one day, it did. And y'all were (mostly) all still here. Thanks.

I look forward to hearing what you're all up to in the New Year.

I hope we all experience the richness of God's blessings this year.

With love and hope...Happy New Year.

It's Christmastime!

Merry Christmas, y'all!

I hope everyone is having a splendid, joy-filled day.

Santa was very good to everyone in our house. I've been so busy watching Brendan play with the Planet Heroes space shuttle and building things with modeling clay, that I haven't had a chance to play with my gifts yet.

I also have put a roast on. Since it turns out that it's just us today – we ended up having our big family Christmas in Montgomery instead of our house because my brother-in-law was on call – I'm using the Paula Deen recipe for a small roast instead of a tenderloin. We'll have mashed potatoes and green beans, too. I need to figure out a good, easy dessert that doesn't require milk since we're almost out and I don't want to try to find an open store. I'm also making some homemade bread. It's rising right now. I haven't made bread in years, so I hope it turns out okay.

So far it's a good day. I feel bad that I wasn't able to get the gift I wanted to for Scott. I wanted to give him a Wii, but as they are sold out everywhere, I simple gave him a gift certificate to go buy one when they're in. I feel bad for him that he didn't get a great gift to open today.

Otherwise, the day is really great. Brendan seems so happy and thankful for all he received and told us he was sad that Beckett didn't get anything in his stocking. Of course, Beckett prefers pulling all the sippy cups out of the drawer in the kitchen to any of his toys.

Go figure. I thought about not getting him anything, but it just felt weird.

Anyway, hope you all have a beautiful Christmas day!

Christmas in Killarney

Christmas in Killarney is probably my favorite Christmas song. I just love it. It makes me happy right down to my toes. As we've been listening to all the Christmas songs on my iPod the last couple of weeks, two have popped up as Brendan's favorites and I'm happy to say my little Irish laddie has his mama's taste in Christmas songs.

He has repeatedly asked me to play Christmas in Killarney. I have two versions, Bing Crosby's and one by the Irish Rovers. The latter is my favorite, although I will alway's have a soft spot for Bing Crosby and his version. As it turns out the Rovers version is proving to be Brendan's favorite as well.

The other song that he likes is Snoopy and the Red Baron, both the Christmas version and the original version.

That was one of my favorites and I had the single when I was around his age. Ah! Record players. Anyway, it makes me happy to share these things with him and have him react the same way I did once upon a time. I guess this is part of what Christmas is all about...sharing our traditions and making new ones.

I feel really blessed to have these two wonderful boys and their sweet daddy to be making traditions with. It's so cool to see the wonder and joy in their little faces each time they experience some new aspect of Christmas.

No One Dies Harder Than John McClain

Except, perhaps, Elmo.

I bought Beckett a small, stuffed Elmo who giggles and talks when you shake him. Today, as I was driving around, I hear Yippee-Ki-Yay! Hahahahaha! from the cargo area. Naturally, all I could think of was the famous John McClain line from Die Hard.

And then, of course, I heard the line in Elmo's voice. And now, I can't stop hearing it.

You're With Stupid Now

As I prepare to write this post, I know that what I'm going to say is going to sound judgmental and elitist and that there will be people who read it and think what an awful person I am. But really, I just have to cuss on the mic tonight. What is wrong with people?

There is a local web site run by one of the local tv stations and the mega-conglomerate-parent company which I think is probably Gannett, but I'm too lazy to check right now. Anyway, it's called peachymoms.com, ya know, because we live in the Peach State and all. So, when I first heard the commercials I thought it would be a cool site with lots of local info on activities and discussions about local happenings as they relate to parenting, etc. In other words, I thought I'd find other women like myself or at least relatively like myself.

Now, don't get me wrong. I realize that parenting isn't the exclusive territory of white, married, thirty-something, college educated, suburban-dwelling, neurotic, hetero women like myself. And I'm not saying that to be facetious.

I have been amazed, however, when reading this site to realize that this particular web site and accompanying message boards are primarily dominated by lots and lots of single women who chose to get pregnant and keep their babies and by keep, I don't mean abortion, although I certainly don't judge anyone for that choice. I mean adoption. In fact, I got slammed for suggesting a woman put her baby up for adoption after she expressed concern that she was 6 months pregnant and not feeling any maternal instinct and her biggest concern was that she wouldn't be able to continue partying after she had the baby. I simply suggested that if she wasn't 100% ready to commit herself to her child that both of them would fare better if she put the baby up for adoption. You would have thought I said she should leave the baby down by the river in a burlap sack.

Then, today, I saw this post and I just felt sick to my stomach. How on earth could anyone be thinking this way? When I was 17 all I could think about was which college I was going to and what it was going to be like to be the D.A. in Nashville some day. Kids were the furthest thing from my mind.

It makes me sad that there are kids out there who think like this, but it makes me sadder that even the people who are trying to talk some sense into her do it in such a wussy way. No one has the guts to stand up to kids and tell them to stop screwing around. They act like children have some God-given right to have sex and that if we tell them not to then we're all horrible Bible-thumping fundamentalists.

I'm not a prude. But, I think it is the rare, very rare, teenager who has the sense to have sex in a smart and responsible way. Even if we give them birth control. Can a 17-year old really remember to take her pill every day? Or insert her diaphragm correctly? And if girls are responsible for the birth control, what happens to condoms (which break and boys hate wearing and will try to talk their girlfriends out of) and the risk of STDs?

I just wish that someone could tell these idiotic little girls the truth without all the baby-mamas out there rushing to beat them up. It's just devastatingly sad to me when I look around and see the dolts that are going to be running this country some day and putting an even greater strain on the system with all their unplanned, unwanted children.

And I feel worse for those kids who are just going to propagate the same failings when it's their turn. Or maybe not. Maybe our country will get on an upswing where all kids realize their potential and don't do stupid things to ruin their lives. We can hope.

El Manana

Driving home from a little Christmas shopping on Sunday, I was listening to a program on NPR. I tend not to think a lot about listening to news shows in front of my kids. I grew up watching the news. Walter Cronkite and John Chancellor were my first heroes. I knew more about world politics and current events when I was four than most adults do now. As a result, I've always been a news junkie and that has only lessened since I've had children and don't enjoy the luxury of watching news programs obsessively, reading several newspapers and magazines each day, and talking politics and/or current events with everyone I know. Since I don't often get to watch the news at home, I listen in the car whenever I can.

Anyway, I'm driving along with Brendan in the backseat, listening to All Things Considered and they're talking about Ingrid Betancourt, a hostage held by Marxist geurillas in Colombia since 2002. The first thing Brendan hears is guerillas, only to him it's gorillas. Now, it is important to note at this point that Brendan mispronounces gorilla so that it comes out as badrilla.Badrillas!, he exclaims. Badrillas kidnap humans! AAAAAHHHHHHH!

I control my laughter so I can actually hear the rest of the story and we continue on. A little way into the story, the reporter says that in a letter to her mother, Bettancourt said that the only people in the camp where she is being held beside herself are the male guerillas. The next thing I hear is What?! The mail man is a badrilla! I knew it!

I laughed so hard I a had to pull over for a second. I was just imagining a gorilla putting on a human mail carrier costume and stealthily sneaking around delivering mail, ripping open certain packages.

In other cuteness, Brendan told his dad the other day that all smart kids wear glasses which oddly coincides with his affection for Simon the Chipmunk and Brainy Smurf, although, he told me today that Smurfette is actually his favorite.

Beckett, too, is doing his best to be the cutest baby ever. He's walking and actually trying to run in order to keep up with big brother. He has five teeth now and loves to bite me wherever he can. Shoulder. Thigh. A couple of nights ago while I was kneeling on the floor looking for some shoes under the bed, he came up behind me and bit me on the bottom. Of course, when I jump and say No biting! he bursts into tears. He's also gotten very clingy and is in the separation anxiety phase. But he's just so cute. My goodness. He said bye-bye for the first time yesterday and is trying to say his own name, I think, and our Cooper's name, too, it sounds like.

It's all so sweet and I'm glad. Especially since I'm a little under the weather. It makes it all easier when they're being cute.

Good Times Bad Times

It seems like the last few days have been a right strange mixture of the good and bad.

First, on Friday evening we went to a Christmas/Hannukah party at our friends' Scott and Lauren's. It was a family party and we brought both our boys. There were a ton of kids and we all had a good time. Sadly, though, right before we left we got a call from our friend Chris telling us that his dog Sam had died. Chris and his wife Laura and their two girls are our closest friends in the neighborhood. The first ones we got to know, with two girls – one just older and one just younger than Brendan. They're really wonderful people that I have grown to care for deeply and Sam was our dog Cooper's best friend. Cooper and Sam had known each other for six years and like our other kids, were very close in age. Back when we each only had one child and for a while after Laura had two, we would take the two dogs for walks together almost every day.

Sam was a great dog. Just a force of nature, really. And Cooper loved him. He had what Scott and I dubbed the Sam Whine. Whenever Chris and Laura would walk Sam, if Cooper saw them, he would whine this high-pitched, excited whine. He didn't make it for any other dog. Not even his other neighborhood buddy, Champ. Anytime, he made that sound, we knew Sam was somewhere close by. And if we didn't see him walking down the street with his family, we knew it meant he was at our front door or in the yard. You see, anytime Sam would escape by sneaking through the gate of his family's backyard, he'd make a beeline for our house. And it worked in reverse, too. Cooper, upon escaping though a gate left open by little boys, heads straight for Sam's house. Fortunately, we're only four houses apart. But I can't number the times phone calls have been exchanged that went something like this:

Me: Hey, Laura. Have you seen Cooper?
Laura: Yeah. He's in our backyard playing with Sam. I was just getting ready to call you. He came up and stood on the porch, scratching at the door until I let him in.
Me: Awwww. Well, thanks for taking him in. I'll be up there in a few minutes to get him.
Laura: Oh, no problem. They're having fun. Just come whenever. No rush.

My favorite memory of Sam is actually from the very first time he came to our house unannounced. Cooper was whining and standing at the front door, stomping his big German shepherd feet, and going nuts. So, Scott opened the door and before you could say how do you do, Sam threw his 140-lb. self through the door and barreled through our house like a fur-covered tornado. He ran through every room in the house, scared the cat, drank all of Cooper's water and ate all his food, and just ran all over the house, sniffing everything, with Cooper following close behind. It was one of the funniest and most surprising things I've ever witnessed.

In other sad news, my best friend Courtney's grandmother passed away Sunday night. She had suffered a massive stroke on December 6, so her death was inevitable and ultimately a comfort for it means there will be no drawn out suffering. Courtney got to have a warm and loving goodbye with her Gran in a moment of lucidity and although she'll miss her, I think Courtney has a real sense of comfort and closure and knows that her Gran is now with her grandpa and the friends who went before her, so she's okay with it all. And that's actually a good place to be.

And back in happy news, Scott's set at the Krazy About Kats benefit went well and he was well-received. Pete,the comic who was on before Scott, suggested he play at one of the venues where he's a regular and got my contact information so we could follow up.

I guess that's about it. I actually have some hilarious Brendanisms to share and Beckett has added a few words to his repetoire, but I'll save all that for another post. Right now, Brendan wants to help me wrap his cousins' Christmas presents and keeps asking me what kind of Chia pet I want for Christmas. I think the answer I'm supposed to give is Scooby-Doo.

Mistletoe and Holly

Yesterday was the least stressful, busy day I have had in ages. Scott had a show last night and yesterday afternoon I took both boys Christmas shopping with me. I knocked out gifts for three of our six nieces and nephews. The thing is, for two of them, I bought books. I love giving and receiving books as gifts, but I'm not sure that when our nieces and nephews get them that they're not disappointed. Still, I am very excited about the books that I got for our 10-year old niece, Lauren, and her 8-year old brother, Corey. For her, I bought The Daring Book for Girls and for him,The Dangerous Book for Boys. They seem like such cool books with a lot of fun things for kids to do and learn. I hope they'll like them.

I was really surprised, though, that when I went shopping, it wasn't the madhouse I expected. Other than Brendan getting his finger mashed in the elevator door (he's fine, thankfully!), shopping was a lovely experience. Now, this week, I have to go this week to buy for our boys and our other three nieces and nephews. And Scott. And a couple of friends. I had bought a couple of things for Brendan's teacher and her aide, but then the room mom suggested that each family in the class contribute whatever amount we were comfortable with to buying Visa gift cards for them. We ended up with over $200, meaning that each teacher will get a gift card that she can spend anywhere, valued at over $100. I thought that was really cool. Most of the parents in the class would probably spend close to or more than $10 per teacher anyway. With 20 kids in the class, each family only had to contribute $10 to cover both teachers. Cool. I had bought some little gift sets when they were on sale this summer and was going to bake each of them my special Christmas cake that I do each year. (I'll try to post the recipe later. It is delicious!) As it turns out, one of the teachers is allergic to everything so those weren't going to be very good gifts anyway.

Hopefully, this week will go smoothly and I can get the rest of the shopping and wrapping and baking done. I can't believe it's all going by so fast!

Cat Scratch Fever

So, if you're in the ATL and you're not doing anything tonight and you love cats, maybe you should think about coming to this event. Scott's playing at this benefit to help raise money for this organization that helps feral and homeless cats. It's tonight, but you can buy a ticket at the door. All proceeds will go to Krazy About Kats to help build their new state-of-the-art veterinary and shelter facility.

Christmas in Dixie

We celebrate two Christmases with Scott's family...three if you count the fact that we have our own Christmas Day celebration that's just for us and the kids (our Santa celebration, I suppose). We always celebrate Christmas with his mom and brothers' families on Christmas Eve. And sometime, usually the weekend before Christmas, we celebrate with his dad and stepmom, also with the brothers and their families. Oh yeah...and then sometimes we have a Christmas Day visit and meal at his Aunt Gaynelle's house if we happen to be spending Christmas in Montgomery.

We rotate where the Christmas celebrations with mom and dad are, with each son and daughter-in-law taking a turn. Essentially, once every four years, it's your turn to host. Or something like that. Math has never been my strong suit. This is our year to host the mom Christmas Eve dinner/celebration. Actually, last year was our year, but because we had a two-week old baby, Scott's mom hosted at her house.

So, it's our turn. And this is what I'm planning to serve as the main course: Paula Deen's Soy Rubbed Beef Tenderloin. I'm a little turkey-ed out. The recipe follows and is from Paula Deen's Christmas cookbook:

Soy-Rubbed Tenderloin

Paula Deen
Serves 10 to 12

"This is really so simple. I buy a whole tenderloin when it goes on sale and have it cut in two. I fix one that night and freeze the other for a special occasion." - Paula

(I plan to try this easy recipe for Christmas dinner.)

INGREDIENTS

One 4- to 5-pound beef tenderloin

1/2 cup soy sauce

Freshly ground black pepper


DIRECTIONS:

Allow the beef to stand at room temperature for 1 hour. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Place the tenderloin in a 13 by 9-inch glass baking dish and rub all over with the soy sauce. Rub the meat all over with a generous amount of black pepper.

Roast the tenderloin for 45 to 50 minutes, depending on the degree of doneness you prefer. (Using a meat thermometer, 125 degrees F is rare; 135 degrees F is medium rare; and 140 degrees F is medium.)

Remove from the oven and allow the meat to rest for 15 minutes before you slice it.

I'm excited. I look forward to figuring out what to serve with it. And what to suggest my sisters-in-law bring. Oh the desserts! That reminds me. If anyone has a recipe for Kentucky Jam Cake that you love, I'd love to see it. It's my favorite cake, but I've never made it.

Christmas is Coming

It must just be that time of year. I just saw a Publix commercial that made me cry. Then, a bit on the Dr. Phil show promoting a Christmas special that he's hosting with his wife and hearing Christmas music made me teary-eyed.

I also have found myself gettin' crafty. Brendan wanted us all to have new Christmas stockings with our names on them, so I went to Michael's today to buy the stuff to make stockings, but decided to just buy their pre-made felt stockings because they were cuter than anything I could make (and really...Do I have time to find a pattern, cut the felt, and sew 4 Christmas stockings? I didn't think so!). I bought some glitter paint/glue and put our names on them. I also bought some stuff to make a gift or two, but won't say what they are yet so as to not give it away in case the recipients are reading the blog. I'm not usually very good at this sort of thing, but I had such good ideas that I wanted to give it a try. I've completed one of the items and think it turned out really nice!

And it's fun to think that you can give someone something that's not just personal, but that you actually put a little of yourself into. I may make a few more things I hadn't planned on if the next thing I'm working on turns out okay.

I haven't done any major shopping. I've bought a gift certificate for my mother-in-law to have a facial or a massage and I bought some bathy-type stuff for her. She's allergic to a lot of scents, but likes lavender, so that's what I got for her. I've also bought a gift for a friend. Some stocking stuffers for Brendan. No big presents for him or Beckett yet. And what do I get for Scott? It's kind of hard when I'm not working enough to make any real money. I hate spending his money on him. I love being at home with my kids, but I hate not having my own money. It totally sucks. I think about the expensive and indulgent gifts I once was able to give him when I worked and feel worthless knowing I can't do that anymore. Oh well. Someday.

Daddy's Gone to Knoxville

There's a great column by Roland S. Martin over on CNN.com. I don't think he's necessarily breaking any new ground with his statement that dads matter, but I think it's important that he's actually saying it aloud to a national audience because I think too many people are afraid of offending others to be honest about things like this.

Martin's piece focuses solely on the role of fathers in the African-American community. He addresses the fact that 10.4 percent of black men between 25 and 29 were incarcerated in 2002. And while he does acknowledge the role of poverty, he points out that (duh) when there are two parents providing financial support as well as love and guidance, you alleviate the effects of poverty. I mean, this should be obvious, but our nation and culture seems to have such an aversion to holding people accountable and calling individuals to accept personal responsibility for their actions.

Why are we so afraid to call people out when they're acting a fool, as Martin says.

I've made no bones about the fact that I grew up without a dad and in poverty, but somehow, through the grace of God, I got it together, relatively speaking. I focused on school and getting into college. I got lucky.

Anyway, Martin got me thinking (shocking, I know!). It's just not enough for a dad to simply sleep in the same home (when he's not traveling on business), hand out indulgent allowances, and never establish or enforce any kind of discipline or show any real affection or interest in their children.

In Alpharetta, one of Atlanta's countless affluent northern suburbs, six young men, ages 16 to 18, were arrested for breaking into and stealing cars and other items. These brats broke into at least 100 cars since Thanksgiving and police believe they are actually responsible for many more thefts. These aren't kids living in poverty. But I could almost guarantee that they have parents who are so consumed with their own lives and interests that they never take the time to show any meaningful interest in their kids. The homes in North Fulton probably average $400,000. I would wager that almost all of these kids have dads who are so caught up in earning their $250K a year salaries and moms so consumed with their ALTA schedules and Botox regimens that they never even see their kids. Kids, mind you, who probably never wanted for a single material possession in their lives. These are kids who get brand new cars when they turn 16, never hit a lick at a snake, and expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter.

The thing is, now that they've fucked up, Daddy – and his expensive attorney – will be there. Just in time to keep poor baby from going to jail. Too bad they weren't around to teach their children about showing a little respect to their fellow human beings when it mattered.

So, it's not just African-American kids who need their fathers, although clearly the differences are crucial, the paths the lives of poor urban kids will follow vastly different than those followed by a bunch of poor little rich kids.

At least Roland Martin is courageous enough and willing to call for accountability among African-American men; I just wish someone would do the same with their rich white counterparts.

Within You, Without You

Yesterday as we were leaving the chiropractor's office, Brendan exclaimed, This is the best day! I got to do all kinds of things I was expecting...go to Chik-fil-A, go to the doctor, then go to the park! Thanks, Mommy!"

Then, he very quickly followed that statement with, This is the funnest life ever!

I have mixed feelings about the idea of reincarnation, but I do believe children, especially the younger they are, are tuned in spiritually in ways that most adults are incapable of. We've lost the innocence or willingness to believe in the things we can't see or comprehend whereas kids just accept those things as they come.

It also made me really happy to think that if we are reincarnated and this is not Brendan's first life that I have somehow contributed to making it a really good one for his soul. I hope we can continue to do so.

Pictures of Me

I know I linked to the flickr stream, but I thought I'd just post a couple directly to the blog, too. We had a happy day that was followed by another fun day yesterday when we celebrated Christmas early with Scott's dad and stepmom up at Scott's brother's house. Again, the kids were all well-behaved and played well with one another. The food was tasty and it was a fun kickoff to the Christmas season which seems to be flying by this year.

Celebration Day

Beckett's personal cake
Originally uploaded by belleoftheblogATL

On Saturday, we celebrated Beckett's first birthday with a small party at our house. Small, to us, means 3 grandparents, 2 sets of aunts and uncles, 6 cousins, 1 close friend with 2 daughters, plus 2 other friends and a baby. The day started off smoothly, but went down hill fast when my cake wasn't ready at the appointed time.

I asked a fellow MOMS Club member who is trying to start a cake business to do the cake for me. It turned out great. It was a beautiful cake and tasted great, especially considering she had never even heard of the kind of cake I wanted before (white almond). But, I thought I'd have a nervous breakdown waiting for it. My party was at 4 p.m. and the cake arrived at 3:45 after I had already been waiting for her since 2:00 p.m. I was a basket case.

But, it worked out fine. We had a great time, Beckett had fun, the kids were well-behaved and sweet, and everyone played nice.

And so went the last first birthday party I'll ever throw.

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Because I'm procrastinating on cleaning my living room, dining room, and kitchen – the last of the house that needs to be cleaned before tomorrow's big first birthday bash – I thought I'd blog again.

Brendan has been super cute and super funny of late and because I haven't blogged in something like a week, I've missed out on sharing it all.

So, Wednesday night we decorated our tree. It was the best tree decorating occasion ever. For a variety of reasons.

Last year, in the throes of having a two-week old baby and freaking out over not having any decorations up, I conceded that perhaps an artificial tree would be tolerable. Scott ran out and bought a beautiful pre-lit tree at Michael's and on the 23rd of December, we decorated it.

This year, I wanted to take advantage of the fact that we had it and get it up early and enjoy the full season. I put it up last Saturday, but because we've been so busy, we didn't get around to the actual decorating until Wednesday. Brendan was so excited he put almost every decoration on by himself. Thus, there is a huge concentration of decorations on the bottom half, especially on one quarter of the tree, but it was just so cute that I didn't have the heart to move them out too much. I did move the breakable ones so they wouldn't be accessible to Beckett's curious fingers.

The entire time he was decorating, Brendan was singing and humming to himself and he kept saying over and over again, to no one in particular,

This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

When he was done decorating the tree, Brendan decided he wanted to play with my Nativity set or as he likes to call the Baby Jesus set.

He set took all the pieces from their box and set it up on the coffee table first, then moved it to the floor. He knew what all the pieces were and named them all as he set them up and he figured out that the angel hung over the creche. He deduced this because she had a little hook on her back and there was a tiny nail on the front of the creche. We were impressed.

He was playing with the nativity and telling us that Mary, Jophus, and Baby Jesus are his favorite characters in the Nativity story. Then, all of a sudden, very excitedly he said,

I hope this story has a happy ending!

Scott and I just looked at each other, trying not to laugh and then we both said,

Uh...Not so much. Nope, not really a happy ending for Jesus.

But when Brendan questioned us, we backtracked and said everything works out fine for jesus, Mary, and Joseph, which he accepted. We weren't really ready to get into the Easter story while celebrating Advent.

Life is a Carnival

I have so much to do, I really shouldn't be sitting here blogging. Yet, I can't pull myself up and out of this chair. It's freezing cold out; Beckett's still sleeping; I'm a little drowsy; the Christmas tree is lit and I have a steaming cup of coffee. I think I'll just sit here a bit longer.

It's been a long week. We're having Beckett's first birthday party tomorrow. Scott's parents, his brothers and their families, a few friends from the neighborhood, some cake. Good times. But I've been stressing all week, cleaning like a maniac. Putting away baby clothes that have been outgrown. Crying and feeling melancholy at how quickly the time has gone by. Decorating the house for Christmas. Yesterday I got up at 6 a.m. and literally did not stop moving until Scott got home last night, which was some time after 8:00 p.m. I am worn out. And as tired and stressed out as I am, things are harder for Scott.

He has deadlines at work. For weeks, I haven't seen him before 8 p.m. at night, unless we have something else going on and he can break away early. I've been keeping Brendan up so Scott can spend some time with him before he goes to bed, otherwise, Scott would never see him. Beckett usually is asleep by the time Scott gets home, so I made a point last night of keeping him up. By the time we're done with dinner and everyone's in bed, I feel like a zombie and feel terrible that I'm not better company.

But, I know that this is just the phase of life we're in right now. I think every family has their own version of this and my job right now is to simply figure out how to make things less stressful for all of us.

Getting my house organized is one way and what I'm working on. When Scott comes home, I want him to feel like he's come home to a place of comfort and sanctuary. Some place low stress.

I'm also thinking of ways I can reduce my own stress. Thanks to A., I've realized I don't have to cook a new meal every night. We can eat leftovers once in a while. Duh!

Anyway, I'm working on it. Life is good. Tiring. But good.

Birthday

My baby is one-year old! I can't believe it. In the blink of an eye, this last year has vanished. Where did it go? I feel like I barely had time to catch my breath.

Beckett has been everything you could hope a baby would be. So sweet. So beautiful. An excellent sleeper. I just love him so much. So much. And he has given so much to our family. I love seeing the way Brendan is with him. I love the way Beckett looks at his brother and laughs at everything he does. I love seeing how sweet and confident Scott is with him.

Having a second child does wonders for your confidence as a parent, I think. I second-guess myself so much less now.

I've been wondering if Beckett's calm and easy-going disposition has more to do with who he is or with the fact that we know what we're doing now and aren't terrified of breaking the baby.

When I found out I was pregnant with Beckett, it was a surprise. We hadn't started trying. But I'm so happy we never had the chance to try. I can't imagine having any other baby. This one is perfect and I can't imagine my life without him now.

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy.

If All Men Are Truly Brothers

It's not often I find an opportunity to use my blog for actual good in the world, but today I see a chance to do so. A friend of a friend just sent this e-mail. She and her husband just found out their son, who is two, has signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder. The teacher mentioned in the e-mail works with their son. If you are local to the Atlanta area and can help or know someone who can help, please contact me via the e-mail link on my profile and I will put you in touch with Tamela, the girl who is coordinating all of this. Thanks!

Please see the following email regarding Paul's Mother's Day Out teacher in need. If you know of anyone who is able to donate a washing machine, car mechanic time or a car, or anything else, please let me know. Feel free to forward this email to anyone you think may be able to help. Thank you.
Hope you are all well.

We recently learned of a special need that made us want to reach out to all of you. Our MDO teacher, has a unique situation: as a widowed mother of two children, she works two jobs to support her family. She personally has no medical insurance and has an old car that is need of some major repairs. We know that she always puts her children first, which means that she sacrifices when it comes to herself. For example, she recently received a gift card to Wal-Mart and used that to buy a Thanksgiving turkey for her kids. A couple of weeks ago, she took her children to a roller-skating party and ended up in the emergency room with a concussion. Because she does not have health insurance, she is now faced with this medical bill. And just yesterday, her washing machine stopped working.

As you can see, her circumstances are weighing heavily on our hearts. In the short time that we’ve known her, she seems to be a very selfless person and yet always has a smile on her face no matter what hardships she may be going through. If you know of anyone who could donate a washing machine, mechanic time for car repairs or even a reliable car, please contact us immediately. Your gift is greatly appreciated. We are also in the process of contacting local charities for assistance with her rent, utilities and medical expenses.

If you know of additional people that may be able to help our friend in need, please forward this email on to them. We are trying to impact the life of someone who is near and dear to us this holiday season.

Baby Watch Your Back

Being pregnant is something like an endurance race. For nine months your body is working hard to build and grow a new human being. It takes a lot of work to sustain that new life, but somehow our bodies figure out how to do it. In the process, however, the strain pregnancy can exact upon your body, especially your back and hips, not to mention your stomach muscles, can really take its toll. And, speaking from experience, I can tell you that the last thing a new mommy needs is an aching back.

When I mentioned previously that one of the best things you can do for yourself prior to becoming pregnant was to get in shape, I wasn't solely referring to body weight. I also meant that you need to focus on strengthening your core muscles. The core muscles, what we typically think of and call our abs, are the muscles that help support our backs, the place where you're going to be carrying much of that extra baby weight. Going into pregnancy with a strong and supported back can help reduce the prospect of lower back pain. Another benefit of having strong and toned core muscles prior to getting pregnant is that your pelvic floor muscles are also considered part of your core and when you work your abs, you can also strengthen the muscles connecting to your pelvic floor. This adds to your stability, helps strengthen the pelvic floor which can prevent incontinence, and can also help you bounce back more quickly following the birth of your child.

So, how do you strengthen your core? It's all in the abs, baby. One of the quickest and easiest things you can do, though, is to think about your body and start by contracting your abdominal muscles while you're reading, watching tv, surfing the Web, cooking dinner, or whatever you're doing. Just contract the abs, hold for 10-15 seconds, and release. It's important that you contract the abs as you are exhaling.

Start here and you'll be surprised how this simple exercise can make a big difference. As your core gets stronger, you will be able to feel the impact on your back.

Birdhouse in Your Soul

Well, I certainly had a bee in my bonnet today. I not only produced multiple blog entries, but wrote a lengthy apology to the MOMS Club membership in my chapter for blowing up via e-mail at one of our members.

Mothers judging mothers happens to be one of my pet peeves. Yesterday, one of our members, L., sent an e-mail to our group asking for advice on getting her son to take a pacifier. Several of us responded with our advice and then one of our new members responded in what I perceived as a judgmental tone asking why L. wanted her son to take a pacifier. I kind of went off on her. Just a little. Especially after she wrote that L. was the best pacifier for her child.

I said that L. was a human being, not a pacifier and that the AAP now recommends the use of pacifiers to help prevent SIDS.

I am totally in favor of breastfeeding, but I don't think that every time your baby cries for no obvious reason (i.e. isn't hungry), you should pop a boob in his mouth. I believe in feeding on demand and I believe in consoling your baby, but I don't believe that mommy is the human pacifier. Sometimes, especially when they have more than one child, mommies need to be able to put junior down for a minute to tend to the needs of other family members. Or, God forbid, their own needs.

Anyway, I said all this rather brusquely, feeling defensive for my friend's right to choose to give her son a pacifier without being judged by the Attachment Parenting and Breastfeeding police. Unfortunately, the mom who questioned the use of the pacifier was even more sensitive and decided she did not fit into our group.

So, I offered my apologies with a statement about how no one in our group had ever judged anyone else for her parenting choices. Hopefully she will decide she can fit in after all.

On another topic, I just want to clarify that I realize I'm also not winning any Pulitzers for my blogging, but I'm also not writing for a premier news magazine. Just to be clear on that.

Thanks, Sherlock!

I hate articles or conversations or debates that begin with the question, Is X overrated?. it pisses me off. Obviously the writer or questioner thinks so.

Anyway, this article in Time rubbed me the wrong way from the first paragraph. The writer is clearly some smarmy, child-hating, self-imposed arbiter of technological popularity, and poseur trying to make out like she's so cool. The article is biased and one-sided, as most writing on technology in major news publications tends to be.

In the battle between My Space and Facebook it clearly comes down to one thing: the question of taste. Either you like to look at pages that are junky, cluttered, and annoying as all hell or you prefer clean, easy-to-read, and tasteful. That's it.

I've been around long enough to see that good taste usually wins in the end. Clearly the writer of this My Space propaganda wouldn't know good taste if it came up and shook her hand.

Nor would she know the kind of writing we should be seeing in Time. The last two lines of her story are, shall we say, less than Pulitzer winning.

And it pisses me off that I wasted my time reading her lousy article hoping for some bit of enlightenment or entertainment.

A Spoonful Weighs a Ton

Before I got pregnant with Brendan, I worked hard to get myself to a healthy weight, but what I didn't work hard enough on was actual physical fitness. I've always been a fairly healthy eater. I'm not a fan of fried foods, fast food, and junk, so eating healthy isn't a big deal to me. Sweets are my downfall, but I've found I can manage that temptation fairly well. 

However, I learned that all willpower can go out the window when you're pregnant and if you haven't been regularly and consistently working out before you get pregnant, you're not too likely to be able to start working out at any meaningful level once you are pregnant. Even a tiny amount in the quantity you eat with no increase in your activity level is going to translate into weight gain and while you should gain a healthy amount of weight – 25 to 30 lbs. if you're in the healthy range for your height, 15 to 20 lbs. if you're overweight – I know from experience that it's far too easy to gain more than you intend to during pregnancy.

My first bit of advice to anyone planning to lose weight before getting pregnant or trying to lose their baby weight would be to look at what you eat. Keep a food journal for a week and write down every bite that goes into your mouth. Every meal, every snack, every bit you pick or pluck off your toddler's plate. It all adds up. And don't forget what you drink. Every cup of juice (100 calories), every Coke (150 in a 12 oz. can), every cup of coffee with cream and sugar (120 calories), every latte (300 to 500 calories), every glass of wine or cocktail (90 to 200 calories).

Once you know what you're eating, then you can think about ways to make healthy changes and you can't remain in denial about what and how much you're eating.

Carry That Weight

I was recently talking with a friend who is thinking about getting pregnant. She asked me what my best piece of advice for her would be, what one thing she should know before getting pregnant. I don't think I even had to hesitate. My advice for her and for anyone undertaking pregnancy for the first time would be to get in shape. Get yourself as healthy as possible before you conceive because pregnancy is probably the hardest thing your body will ever do.

I'm not an expert in terms of any credentials I have, but I've seen two pregnancies through and I've done it both ways. I have more than a few thoughts on the subject and more than a little advice to offer.

So, I thought I might start sharing a few of the things that worked for me and the things that didn't. If I can help someone else avoid the esteem crushing battle I faced to lose weight following Brendan's birth, I am overjoyed to do so.

Rainy Days and Mondays

I love being inside on a cold rainy day with the only sounds I hear being the rain and the sound of the dryer, humming along all warm and cozy in the basement. Knowing I'm here alone except for the sleeping baby, it makes me feel productive. If I didn't have to go somewhere, I could get a lot done on a day like this.

Time to Kill

So, what I want to know is how does one make her life fit the alloted number of hours given? How do I possibly make all the things I want and/or need to do fit in one day? I am open to suggestions. Here's my list in no particular order:

Pray/meditate

Think and plan for the day/days ahead (to-do lists, calendars, etc.)

Blog

Write assigned articles

Write articles to pitch

Care for children(feed, clean, nurture)

Play with children (just be present and having fun with them; take them to do fun things)

Spend time with husband (being present and enjoying each other's company)

Work at new part-time marketing job

Cook

Clean house 

Laundry

Spend time with friends (by phone, e-mail, im, etc. if not in person--at least one a day)

Exercise

Shower, dress, try to look nice

These are all the things I need to fit into most days or at least my week somewhere. Obviously, some of the things are non-negotiable such as time spent with my family. Work. Exercise, for me, needs to be a priority. I'm just having trouble making it all work. I feel like I could literally get up at 5 a.m. and stay up until 1 a.m. trying to fit it all in, be exhausted, and still not get it all done.

Oh yeah. That seems to be part of my problem. I seem to really need my 6 hours of sleep a night and would take all I could get. I think if I could force myself to get up two hours before the kids I could knock out working out and showering/getting dressed. I just can't seem to force myself out of bed until I have to get up.

How do you manage your time and make it all work without feeling like you're neglecting someone?

Here Comes Santa Claus

We have a new word for the cute file.

Brendan just asked me how Santa gets down the jimby. I'm consistently amazed and confused how he can correctly pronounce and use like mischievous when most adults mispronounce it, but simple words often seem to be misheard and/or mispronounced. Still, jimby's a pretty cute mispronunciation even if I am biased.

Home Cookin'

Scott and I were supposed to host our neighborhood supper club last night. The group meets once a month and we take turns hosting. The hosts provide the entree and everyone else brings a side dish, appetizer, or dessert. We usually try to do a theme, although we're not super consistent with that. The idea really is simply to get together with our friends from the neighborhood without the kids and have a relaxing meal and good conversation.

Because both boys were sick all week and I had work, I wanted to reschedule, but one of the other couples offered up their home if I could still cook. Worked great for me, so I still got to make the dish I've been dying to make for ages.

It's a very old traditional Southern recipe called Chicken Country Captain. It's a curried chicken stew that is served over rice with a variety of condiments to put on top ranging from shredded coconut and chutney, to a yogurt sauce, green onions, chopped boiled egg, bacon, and toasted almonds and peanuts. It has always sounded so delicious to me and I've been eager to try it, but it's a lot of work and a big dish, so it's not something I've wanted to whip up on a Wednesday night.

I used Scott Peacock's recipe from what has become one of my favorite cookbooks.

But this recipe from Food and Wine is very similar. Peacock's recipe omits the mace. I just realized, too, that I failed to put in the bay leaves for which his recipe calls. Still, it turned into quite a nice dish. I received a lot of compliments on it. If you're not a fan of Indian curries, you probably won't like this, but I really enjoyed it.

Chicken Country Captain (from Food and Wine):

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tablespoons sweet paprika
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
One 4-pound chicken, cut into 8 pieces
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 green bell peppers, finely chopped
1 large onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup minced flat-leaf parsley
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 teaspoons curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground mace
One 28-ounce can Italian tomatoes, chopped and juices reserved
1/2 cup chicken stock
1/4 cup dried currants
1/2 cup blanched whole almonds, lightly toasted and chopped
DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 325°. In a shallow bowl, mix the flour with the paprika, 2 teaspoons of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of pepper. Dredge the chicken in the seasoned flour, shaking off any excess.
In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil until shimmering. Add half of the chicken and cook over moderately high heat until browned, about 8 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of oil to the skillet and repeat with the remaining chicken.
Pour off the oil from the skillet, then melt the butter in it. Add the bell peppers, onion and parsley; cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables soften, 12 minutes. Add the garlic, curry powder and mace; cook, stirring, until fragrant, 4 minutes. Add the tomatoes, their juices and the stock; simmer over low heat for 15 minutes. Add the currants. Season with salt and pepper.
Transfer the sauce to a 9-by-13-inch glass baking dish. Arrange the chicken on top, skin side up. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes, or until the breasts are just cooked through. Transfer the breasts to a plate and cover loosely with foil. Bake the remaining chicken for 1 hour longer, or until tender and the sauce is thickened. Return the chicken breasts to the sauce and bake for 5 minutes longer, or until heated through. Sprinkle the almonds on top and serve.
MAKE AHEAD The baked chicken can be refrigerated overnight.

SERVE WITH Steamed white rice.